You Are Not Alone

It's The End... But The Moment Has Been Prepared For...

2009-07-01T06:39:00.000-07:00

Just, faithful reader, as even the worst days do, this blog has come to an end.

I feel I've made my point. Lots of bang on spoilers (who else got the redhaired Scottish companion last August... em, no one...), the fracturing and discrediting of the spoiler kings, a more secure future series production (does anyone anywhere know what's really happening?) and I've also put all my affairs in order, with a big "let's all be chums" and apologies last blog and of course, the greatest initiative of them all - The United Federation of Fandom.

We're all, at last, pulling in the same direction, and, with the odd silly exception, giving Doctor Who fandom a good name, for a change.

So there's no need for my blogs, at least not with this big old face. You see, I'm going to change, it's this trick bloggers do when they near the end - I'll be around, although I might be different. I might have two heads. Or no head. Imagine. Me! With no head...

Anyway, this old body is wearing a bit thin, and I know how much humans attach a very great deal of importance to appearance, so, no tears, Sarah Jane, it's the end, but the moment has been prepared for... (see what I'm doing here? Do ya?)

OK, last blog, you get that, and the end of Outpost Skaro too, at least in the form of a jesters coat and yellow and black stripy slacks. We're regenerating. Moving house. Thinking big.

Our new forum is at www.outpostskaro.com and it's a beauty. I won't tell you exactly what exclusives we have in there right now, cos, em, well, then they wouldn't be exclusives, but we have the complete fandom experience - videos, games, blogs, social networking, exclusives, competitions, comic books and graphic novels, an e-zine, interviews, features and of course the infamous Skaro forum. Some HUGE surprises come next week too, so get yourself along.

We open on Torchwood Day - 6th July at 9am, but you can register now.

What i'll do is use this page to let you all know, faithful readers, when I do publish a new blog, which will utilise the feature we have in Outpost Skaro from now on, not here, but, for now, this is my last blog.

Thanks for reading, and occasionally commenting... is this death? Adric? No, but it is better than carrot juice. Yeah, carrot juice. I know, carrot juice! And, just to be pedantic, he's out there somewhere, and he has to be stopped... I'm not human...

Oh, and, of course..."blimey, Fitz, I think I pressed the wrong button..."

Happy times and Places, for the last time.

Eddie

Infamy... Infamy... They've AAAlll... You Know The Rest

2009-06-18T03:42:00.000-07:00

Enough, already, faithful readers.

I've been having a look, as usual, at the world of fandom, now more than ever. It's an ugly bloody place sometime, eh? Not just the personal attacks and the constant bitching, but the absolute assertion that each individual is 100% right! If you hate the RTD era, you're right, if you love it, and hate the black and whites, you're right, if you live in DWF and hate Skaro, you're right! Well, we're not, we're just giving opinions.

The fighting and the back biting that's been increasing in the last year is an unhealthy and disruptive thing. It takes away from the real reason we're ALL in this. The love of a programme called Doctor Who. When you think of it like that, it all gets a bit silly doesn't it? I mean, "I know something that's going to happen in the future!", "No you don't", "Yeah, I do... you're a cunt!", "Fuck you, you're a paedo!"... and all because someone mentioned a made up moster might be coming back in a Saturday teatime telly show.

The spoilers, per se, are a bad thing, in my opinion, they take away from the hard work done by the brilliant folks at Upperboat. It's unfair on them, and it's unfair on the millions of Not We who have episodes wasted because The Sun or The Mirror publish these spoilers. There are good spoilers though - the ones that illicit conversation and speculation. I mean, who exactly is Timothy Dalton playing??? It's great guessing. But to waste a pivotal scene or a big surprise for a bit of internet kudos from a couple of thousand people is a bit much, dontcha think?

The fall of the House of Lyon and the closing of DWF has its positives. Not the closure of that forum, of course, but the amount of people who've went, "hey, we can do that," and set up fora of their own. Personally, despite the success of Skaro, I have to say it's something I would never have thought of without my good friend Omega's Biscuit. It's his fault! But to see lot's of new ones spring up is heart warming.

But it's also an opportunity. It's a chance to underline the difficulties and the fractures of the past and to not citicise each other for being different but to embrace that difference. Fandom shouldn't talk with one big Cyber-voice, it should be many voices, talking, saying different things, having different opinions. I mean, I don't like spoilers, but if a spoiler site springs up and people want them, so be it. If an anti-RTD site springs up, again, I might not agree with that stance, but, hell, they're entitled to feel that way, aren't they?

The most important thing is that it's done in the spirit of the show and it's principle character. It should be respectful, nonconfrontational, it shouldn't waste it for others, it shouldn't be personal. This is about Doctor Who, ferchrissake! Why are we fighting?

Fans should choose a forum - or six, or ten - and chat and mix and mingle. We should each rely on the others' strengths for support and for encouragement. We should embrace the differences between them all.

I've made my point on trolls and nasties. To that end, I've deleted the contentious blogs I've made over the last year and I'll make a point of not publishing any more. To that end, I request the same in return. Let's get on with enjoying what are going to be some amazing episodes and a brand new Doctor. Matt and Karen deserve to be brought into a family of fandom not bickering with each other like five year olds, but pulling together in support of them.

It's time all the silliness stopped, so, for me, it has. With the advent of Outpost Doctor Who, Gallifrey Base, Planet Kemble's revamp and the soon-to-come Skaro Mark 2, as well as the stalwart of Sebastian at Doctor Who Online, there is room for us all, and petty arguments from the past should remain in the past.

So to everyone I've had a pop at, right or wrong, I apologise. I hold my hand out to you all. It's daft, it's childish, and, in the end, it's pointless. Let's move on together, in a place where we can say our piece without being ridiculed. It doesn't matter who I am or what my job is, it doesn't matter who AWF is, it doesn't matter how people have perceived DWF... it just doesn't matter.

Let's go forward in all our beliefs... and prove to the Doctor that he is not mistaken in his.

Happy Times and Places

Eddie

The Way It Is

2009-05-21T07:38:00.000-07:00

You know, faithful reader, I'm very proud of Outpost Skaro. I haven't always been, it has to be said. But now, I am. We have a great forum, there, and, it has to be said, it's even greater now I'm not head honcho.

One man's voice always sounds like the right one in his own head. It isn't always though. Skaro was born out of a fight, and it came out of the womb kicking and screaming. And it's interesting to see how first impressions last.

On DWF recently there was a thread about bad experiences in fora, and, inevitably (because we ARE the best alternative) Skaro came up. A couple of people really do have the wrong impression. It's been described as insular and paranoid, and suggests that the Moderators attack people without provocation.

Right here, I'd like to apologise if that has happened to anyone. In the early days, Skaro was finding its feet, and was being attacked on all sides by a lot of very nasty people with some very nasty things to say. People like MLock and Fat Boab warned me via private messages that they would deliberately go out to spoil it and they almost did. Perhaps we overreacted then, and others got caught in that flack. That isn't right. Sorry folks.

Another thing we are accused of is being a DWF (Doctor Who Forum) basher. I'd like to say catergorically that this is not the case. We discuss FANDOM in Skaro, all aspects of it, and, of course, DWF is the foremost forum on the net, so must by definition come into that remit. I've said before that it is a wonderful forum. It is a fabulous place full of fabulous people and, on the whole, run by fabulous people too. Shaun Lyon is professional, gentlemanly and a thoroughly decent egg.

Because it is so vast though, unfortunately it attracts the same bad guys we do. And those guys are very established there. One of them - a fellow who goes by the name of Doc Filth - hounded a female poster to the point where he threatened to visit her at her place of work and threatened that "he knew where she lived". This is very sinister, and most distressing for the woman in question. I'm sure no one would condone such creepy threats, even if they were meant in jest. My own treatment - from the likes of AWF, Co-Ordinator, 72lf and Mlock - pales into insignificance next to that.

But we must be careful to realise that these guys are NOT DWF. It can be a distinction that is difficult to realise sometimes, due to their high profile, but it is an important and vital one. DWF is the wonderful Canterbury, or Reeecey or the fabulous Mrs Jo Smith. Its doctorwho2008, it's Aspidistra, it's the genius boys and girls in the Toy section - go their, those guys are friendly, welcoming, warm and funny. It's shinyford and his wonderful fanfic, and it's Future Regeneration and his much anticipated audio plays. It's Arisia, and her cool head, and it's Lucy_Who who takes no shit - and rightly so.

Lately, though, there has evolved a new and sinister development. The abusers, by their nature, crave attention of the people with a profile. I have such a profile, of course, so I am constantly bombarded with abusive messages on the fora I visit. Of course, the upside is that I get a lot of nice attention too, and that is very welcome. However, this new thing, is the cult of "one on one". People who, whilst they may visit the Outpost Skaro and they may even do more than lurk there, feel it necessary to engage me on a one to one level.

The latest of these is a young lady called Isobel Clarke. She claims I'm old enough to be her dad, so she must be all of a teenager, but, boy, she has issues. Accusations and name calling abound, a girl who craves the one to one attention of myself for a reason I can only guess at. I reckon it's the thrill of kicking the sleeping tiger. You know the kid who waits til the big guy's knocked out then creeps up behind the bullies and hits him a kick? It must be quite thrilling, to hold me in such high regard, call me names AND get a personal reply. What a rush, I'd imagine. Poor girl. She engaged me over the course of a week, and got increasingly manic with every correspondence. A shame really, she was almost clever. I wish her well.

My point is, it's a new phenomenon. She wasn't after the notoriety of eejits like Fat Boab who tried to engage me in the forum, so they can say "hey guys, check me out, I just called Eddie a cunt...", it was a much more intimate form of engagement. Rather sad. I know a few of the Mods in Skaro have had similar experiences. It's weird. A little violating. Maybe for them too.

However, Skaro flourishes. We're ignoring the latest shot over our bow by the fabulously funny Angry Who Fan and taking it in the spirit in which it was delivered. Satire. We are of course a good target because we're big and loud and powerful in opinion. We're also a recognised voice now, and that's a good thing, so, like the best Rory Bremner episode, I'd rather be the Prime Minister being satired than the back bencher being ignored. The good thing about the publicity afforded by the AWF and DWF is that our membership always swells, and the people who join can see for themselves that we are open and honest and funny and genuine. No vitriol, no nastiness, no name calling. Just honest debate, the occasional peak inside the workings of Doctor Who and membership to the (and I say this as a punter, now I've reliquished control) best new forum since DWF.

Maybe if you happen across this blog, and you're not a member yet, click on the link and join the fun. It's the place to be.

Happy times and places

Eddie

Canon! Balls!

2009-04-29T01:49:00.000-07:00

Hello there, faithful reader. And trolls. I get a lotta them...

Canon. Canon, canon, canon, canon. Canon... I hope you're writing this down. Today's lesson, class, is on official timelines and canoninity. What happened and what didn't? Do Big Finish audios "count" as "real" Doctor Who? What about NAs? Or annual short stories? Short trips? The new BBC novels? DWM comic strips? The Dalek Annual...? Actually, I'm boring myself now.

Some people reckon that "canon" is everything that is officially sanctioned by the BBC... everything, official, with a BBC logo on it. Even thoughs "make your own adventures" books with K9. People confuse the word "official" with "canon". It's not the same. "Official" simply means "paying the BBC to use their product and not be sued for it". That's all. It doesn't mean "actually happened".

Let's start discounting things. Let's go right back to the beginning. Target novelisations. Not canon. Why? Well, for a start they give a non-representative view of the episode they novelise. This isn't a criticism, I love em, I learned to read - and write - through them - but they don't always follow the story exactly. Mal Hulke, for instance, was very guilty of changing things round, Stephen Gallagher too. Ian Marter. And of course David Whittaker's Exciting Adventure With the Daleks rewrites An Unearthly Child (using Bunny Webbers original premise) into a brand new origin story. So target novelisations. Nope.

Whilst on books, what about the NAs? Virgin and the BBC produced hundreds of books under the banner "Doctor Who" from the early 90s on, featuring every Doctor from one to eight. Are these canon? Did these adventures "happen" to the Doctor? Well, nope, of course not, don't be silly. Why? Well, because the PtB nowadays plunder them for ideas. Which Doctor had a brush with humanity in Human Nature for example? Well, obviously, it was the tenth. Not the seventh. Obviously. We saw that. That in itself is enough to discount everything else. Or, if not that, then, em, who destroyed Gallifrey? The Faction Paradox? Or the Doctor in a desperate bid to stop the Daleks? Well, the Doctor of course, he's told us. To our face. The Faction Paradox didn't happen. It's just a story.

Big Finish suffer from this more than any other medium. I love big finish, but which Doctor was locked in with a broken and insane Dalek who was thought to be the last of its kind? The sixth? Or the ninth? The ninth, of course. Who went to Pompeii just before Vesuvius erupted!? The tenth! Not wee Times Champion. How many official adventures has the Eighth Doctor had? One, I'm afraid, fighting the Master in San Fransisco.

Doctor Who is a telly show. That's all. And, faithful reader, let's stop bush beating here, it's all pretend. It's made up. It's not real. But in the Doctor's own personal "history" he can't have a million different versions of the same thing. Even the time travel excuse doesn't really hold water. It's a telly show, and what happens on the telly is all that matters. That's why RTD and the Moff adapt the other mediums. The Moff redid Blink from a very recent Doctor Who Annual. He also redid Continuity Errors from Decalog3 for Silence In The Library (well, at least used the same setting) and RTD paid Marc Platt for the idea of The Rise of the Cybermen from Spare Parts - even though it's just the pulses that are the same. Human Nature is a complete rewrite, by the same author. So is Dalek.

The television series is all. It's all that matters. The rest is fun. It's genius, in fact. It's brilliant drama written by very talented people. But in the Doctor's universe, it didn't happen, it's just a distraction. It's just a way to make money and to feed fans Who when there is none. Licenced fan fiction, mostly. Brilliant fan fic, but just that. Incredibly well written fan fic, but no more. It's no more "real" than if you wrote a wee story for your nan.

Doctor Who has it's own internal continuity problems - UNIT for talkings sake. I mean, what? Where? When? ("Slightly in the future" according to Barry Letts in The Sea Devils dvd, "the real world, but not ours, slightly in front...") So, the Brigadier retires... anyway, you know the score, you know the worms. We don't need the can here. I mean, we have that, we don't really need te rest. People like Terry Nation, Bob Holmes, Terrance Dicks, alumni of Whovian scriptures, bastions of the narrative, those guys didn't give a fuck if it was set then, had been done before, was a bit like this or that, they went with the story, that's all. Eric Saward lost the plot with Ian Levine for moaning about "27 glaring continuity errors" in a draft of Johnny Byrnes Warriors of The Deep. And it was that kind of bollocks that ground the eighties into the ground. I mean, how hard would it have been, rather than get Levine to look at it, to say "hey Johnny, watch those two adventures, eh? Give us a story that doesn't step on toes..." That's lip service to the fans, and that's what RTD does now. He gives us excuses for continuity errors. The Time War. Torchwood. He gives us escape valves. He doesn't need to.

Terry Nation completely rewrote the origins of the Daleks - at least once - but no one blinked. In fact Genesis of the Daleks might contain more than "27 glaring continuity errors" but who gives a shit? It's brilliant!

Canon is an old word describing whatever the pope at that time decreed to be the official turn of events. It didn't have to be accurate, just what the pope decided. Some popes would countermand previous ones. History was rewritten.

RTD in the pontif of Who. I'm sure you'll love the imagery Russell, I can see you in a cassock.. the Moff soon will be. Brilliant! Genius! Fabulous fellows both. What those guys say goes. Full stop. It doesn't make it any righter than the last guy, or more wrong than the next.

It's what we see that makes our "history" or "reality". Doctor Who begins and ends on Saturday teatime telly. The rest is smoke.

Happy Times and Places

Eddie

Planet of The Dead

2009-04-15T08:08:00.000-07:00

I think, faithful reader, that Planet of the Dead is going to work better as a prologue to what's to come, rather than a one-off Special, and that the next four - or even all five Specials if you count The Next Doctor - will work best as a whole than as individuals. Can't wait for the boxset.

However, despite the exuberance and bonkers flying bus, Planet of the Dead was a little cold for me. It wasn't the romp RTD promised us, and, in fact, was pretty slim on incident and thick on coincidence. If it hadn't been for the Tritovores magic crystal bus levitating devices Time's Champion, the man who gives monsters nightmares and the last of the Time Lords (cept for the Master, and maybe someone else) would have been munched up by some metallic coated stingrays gleaned from an old Judge Dredd comic, not standing screaming with a flaming torch at the gates of some Greek-sounding Time Battle. Pity that. The Dubai setting - whilst pretty - was, well, pretty bland and very underused. This was, I'm afraid, Who by numbers.

What I don't hold with is others views on David Tennant. He's sparkling in every scene, and slipped back into the Doctor's Chuck Taylors after eight months away with aplomb. The Tenth Doctor is a wonderful creation. Good too, was Michelle Ryan, who I've been banging on about for years, as the faux-companion (technically, pedants, not an ACTUAL companion, of course... no TARDIS trips for her). Lady Christina, whilst Lara Croft inspired and Tom Cruise dressed was a decent character (although how much better would it have been to have started with a Ball in the museum with her in flowing robes and dripping class, only to sneak away and change into the cat burglar - give us a sense of the "Lady" instead of the odd plumby vowel) and a good foil for the Doctor, but, of course, in the end, fell into the "what is it Doctor?" mould of yore. Pity that.

Lee Evans, however, was a revelation. Wonderfully comic, a proper "LOL" and warm and believable. Even his Welsh accent. Definitely someone I'd like to see again, and, as UNIT's scientific advisor, maybe that isn't impossible.

The whole thing however, was a bit "meh" for me. It's always good to see the Doctor back, and I love the little echoes as to what's heading his way, but I feel the effort and expense to get the bus, ship it to Dubai and to use that actual setting was an effort because they could, not because they had to. In the long run Gareth ditched most of The Highest Science for an hours worth of fluff. I think I'da prefered an adaptation.

This isn't a bad episode of Doctor Who. Don't think it is. It's all just a bit "so what?". It was fun, it was bonkers, it was original in parts. But, ironically, the derivitives wasted good ideas, the Tritovores were badly realised and underused plot devices (oh, whilst I'm on about the Tritovores, did anyone notice my stinger...? When first shown I made a comment on Outpost Skaro about the similarities to them and Kocquillion in The Rescue, and, indeed, some similarities in plot. Before long the lauded DWF was declaring that the Tritovore was actually Malcolm in a mask! Hmmm, never learn that lot...) and the rest of the characters two dimensional.

It's been said RTD has run his course with Doctor Who, that his tricks are all out of the bag. I don't think, in all honesty, he would disagree. And, sadly, neither would I. The bonkers-ending and kitchen-sink plots have all been done. This isn't a criticism, RTD has been remarkable as head writer on Doctor Who and shown many, many original and genius stories and styles. But, with this, The Next Doctor and even Journey's End, he's probably leaving himself no where else to go. Except for Mars, I suppose. If you think he's run out of steam, believe me, he has nothing to lose with these next three Specials. By New Years Day we'll have seen him throw caution to the wind in abandon and put our tenth Doctor - and the RTD family - through more than you'll ever think he would.

Planet of the Dead is a nice starter, a prawn cocktail of a first course in a meal that, by the end, is going to leave us all amazed, satisfied and exhausted.

Happy Times and Places

Eddie

The Representation of Doctor Who

2009-04-09T02:51:00.000-07:00

Now, faithful reader, before I go on I have to tell you this is not all about fandom. In fact, I've had my fill of that, at least for a while, well, at least the daft flame war malarky.

The way I figure it, DWF is all but ignoring all the nonsense that has goneon, and AWF is actually posting funny blogs that have nothing to do with the carry on in the past. After taking a wee look and stepping back, I noticed that the only places throwing insults around were AWF's comment pages and, we, us at Skaro. I'm a little embarrassed about that, plus, to be fair, I'm getting a bit fed up with being everyone's whipping boy, so, for now, I think it's only right that we all pull in the same direction and just get on with Doctor Who. That's the main thing here, the rest is just t'internet bollocks. So, that's what I'm gonna do.

Now, the "saviour" stuff in my last blog. Guys, come on now, that's a bloody joke! Has everyone lost their sense of humour? I thought irony was our thing! Clearly not, so, like all bad comedians, I've had to explain it... hohum...

Right, onto new stuff.

Has anyone been to the Doctor Who Exhibition in Blackpool recently? Bloody hell! Now, I presume it's been closed during winter. They've had plenty time for maintenance, a lick of paint (2 tins for £20 in B&Q btw) and maybe the odd bit of dusting. I went yesterday and was wholly, wholly disappointed. The older eps are well represented with a few decent props and costumes, but they really need a bit of a clean, and, of course, a lot of it looks very tacky (although, to be fair, this isn't probably its fault, it's more likely what the Beeb gave them. A lot of Doctor Who props and costumes WERE a bit tacky). Things like Sylv's and Peter's hat squashed into an unrecognisable mess, no representation of a "classic" Tom Baker, no, as far as I could see, "original" sonic screwdriver (or new one, for that matter) and some very badly set exhibits of old monsters - a couple of different vervoid displays, oddly.

I mean, of course, there is always a fanboy thrill to see these things close up, but also a huge disappointment when, em, seeing these things close up. But the classic series is one thing, I get why props and models and costumes which are at least twenty years old can look a bit knackered.

What really got to me was the "new" series stuff. What a waste. I know for a fact there is no shortage of new series props and costume. I also know from first hand experience these things are chunkier, slicker and more realistic in real life than ever before, but, em, where are they at Blackpool? A Human Nature scarecrow I think was the newest piece, but sans head, bizarrely. And it seems someone had it away with Jabe's, too. The display is filled with End of the World mannequins, and, as I said, looks not to have been updated, since series 3. There is no representation of new Cybermen with the exception of one helmet and one standee. No new style Daleks either, except a standee, and nothing at all on the Master or Sontarans or Ice Warriors. Not even a Zygon. Oh, but they do have a Navarino! Hmph. A lot of the exhibits are up high, and hard to see, some of the lights don't work in the displays and I noticed a full rail of costumes, up above the display cabinets that were impossible to detail.

Another thing that was disappointing was the condition of the place - there were actually people screwing things in when I got there, and the whole "new" section was grubby and unkempt. There are huge holes in the ceiling, for instance. The mannequins looked like they had been knocked out of natural poses and just left.

Then there's the prices. I'm no mean Scotsman, and I was fully willing to go there and buy the illusive sixth Doctor figure to complete my collection - and Giant Robot - but £20? £7 in Tescos I think! Even Forbidden Planet do it for under £15. They were selling VHS's for a £10! A tenner! For a video! You can by dvds for under a £5 in WH Smiths. And the whole thing cost £20 for a family ticket.

So I was disappointed, I have to say, and since I was hoping to show off a bit to my partner, a little embarrassed by it. I reckon all it would need is someone who gave a monkeys about the programme - rather than just employing "people" - and it could sparkle. I'm sure a request to the BBC would get them new props and costumes.

Anyway, 6/10... must try harder.

Happy Times and Places

Eddie

This Blogger Thing, Fandom and AWF Comments

2009-03-30T15:47:00.000-07:00

Hello there, faithful readers.

You know, I've been watching with interest a comment-culture which seems to be developing, almost forum-esque out of AWF blog about yours truly. There seem to be a group of people intent on constantly spilling abuse and venting their own personal demons in my direction, and, to be honest, it's quite scary, strange and more than a little disturbing.

I genuinely don't get it. Even if all the nasty stated about me is true - that I'm a multiple personality fantasist with a penchant for abusing consenting women and a mover and shaker in the BDSM world... so what? Why does that effect anyone? Why is that soooo offensive? Surely just as - or in my opinion more - offensive is to constantly target a couple of individuals (or, by their logic ONE individual) and bombard them daily with vile, slanderous and unwarranted abuse? Isn't that worse than anything I have been accused of (and never proved of) doing? I'd reckon so.

AWF is unfortunately complicit in this, because he/they can easily reject those comments but they publish them, and, of course, that is well within their rights. Have to be careful of the liable laws there, but so far I get why. I know what it's about. And that's fine. To be fair, it's getting a bit boring now.

See, if anything else, it's done me a favour, faithful reader, because my mask is off. The nuclear bomb has been dropped, there's nothing else for anyone to hit me with, and it's a huge relief. The thing with the "masked" me kind of shows the hysteria that was whipped up around me, and, in a way, shines a light right into the faces of the brainless fuckwits leaving comments on AWF's blog. THOSE are the guys with the problem, guys who think the most offensive person in the world is me. Christ, I'm a nothing, I'm genuinely not worth their attention. But still, what is it, all you amateur psychologist who google conditions to give me? Displacement? Transferance? What? Do your wives not understand you? Are you left alone at night whilst she "works" or "visits her sister" and all you can do is think... right, I'm gonna let him have it, that bastard, that guy who, em, said he knew things about Doctor Who I didn't... how dare he... what a bastard, or something? Don't you have, like, lives? Why am I so offensive? Why am I so important to you? Even if I AM a liar, which I'm clearly not, who cares? And if you do, why? What's it hurting? Cos I'll tell you, I'm a self fulfilling prophecy. See, for me to have done something - anything - then it's shut the spoilers - and if I did that, well, then I'm genuine, and not a liar, and, well, em, then... oh, see? Paradox. Bit of a bastard that, eh? Never mind. I'm sure you'll find a dog to kick sometime. Maybe sometimes, when you're feeling particularly naughty, you go and have an extra biscuit, even though mother told you not to... wooo... you're like, soooo bad...

So there's this guy, posts anonomously in AWF's comments and says things like "Marty, m'lad" and "Bladdy yakkity yak" and people think he's Mr Dark. Now, people think I'm Mr Dark too. I'm not, of course, but the hard of thinking chin-dribblers can't tell that Dark and I have completely different writing styles - I mean, completely different, unfakeably different, but, never mind, the "not very brights but can lift heavy things" can't see that, they just go for it. So this guy, whoever he is, is sitting in the house - probably his mum's, to be honest - and decides to write "Darkesque" abuse to people and then watches all the puppets jump through his hoops. He must be giggling his mother fucking arse off at you guys, you are so easy to manipulate! To give credit where it's due, I reckon Martin clocked that, and backed off the conversation pretty swiftly. Good call there, MLock, your instincts serve you well.

Fandom, gawd help us, needs AWF, it needs the bite, and the satire and the cynicism. I contacted the place out of a genuine respect for it. My initial email which was reproduced must have shown that, but it all seems to have been forgotten. What it doesn't need - and neither does AWF's reputation - is the culture of poisonous hangers on who vent an unnatural anger at someone for doing, what? Honestly, what?

If I dish it out, I must be willing to take it back, and, as long as it's an online persona thing, I'm happy to do so. I'm a big boy, and can easy fend off intellectual halfwits with words and wit rather than fists. But see, there's another thing. In the real world, in a pub (and I know most of these guys aren't allowed to go to pubs) if you called someone a "cunt" you'd get punched square on the face. But here, if someone slaughters you and you say "Well, lets meet, and I'll leather you..." the same guy who just called you a cunt goes "Yeah, that's all you can do, violence..." and hides behind a bigger boy. It's the ultimate in cowardice.

And it's all very unnecessary. It's all a bit silly, really. The whole situation has shone a light on the culture at the moment and it doesn't look good. I have come across arrogant and petulant, and perhaps duplicitious, AWF I reckon knows he/they were a little disengenious with what was a geniune hand of friendship, and DWF is trying to remain aloof, and, to be fair, doing a not too bad job. The skittering little comment makers who get sooooo angry at the whole thing come across as anti-social sociopaths with shallow lives and a zero-tolerance for silly things. So we all look like arseholes. And it's all a bit daft.

The worst thing I've done - even if I'm a liar, and a fantasist, even if I've made everything up - is to highlight the spoilers and what they were doing to the programme, to try and protect some of the integrity of the people making the show and give them credit for the damn hard work they do. Spoilers are a very different creature now, and I have to say I'm a bit proud of that, whatever some people say. The anticipation of a new episode with little known about it is a GOOD thing, faithful reader. However it happened. That's all I've done. And before people have a pop about me, and my internet habits - true or not - why not have a look at your own? The pay-to-view porn or the dodgy late-night sites, the drunken google for something you normally wouldn't look at or the email from someone with contents that make you go "whoooahhh!". But no, all these comment-creatures are lilly white, former cherubs who are so outraged that people dare have some kind of life. Where as they, of course, do not.

I'm not going to go bashing AWF, it's important it gets back on track and does what it does best. It IS funny. And I'm not going to bash DWF, or any of its alumni, because it does an important job and it is very, very needed. Christ, lads, hasn't this all gone far enough? Points made, medicine dished out, yadda yadda. Even Steve at the Restoration Team had to close down his forum because of abuse. That's crazy. Those guys do us a favour every single day! It's insane.

I know I've taken a pounding for saying this, but I genuinely mean it. We're all meant to be fans of Doctor Who. The Doctor. Would he be happy with this behaviour? Would he be proud of US... all of us? No, he wouldn't, he'd be ashamed. And so am I.

Skaro won't turn anyone away. It won't censor or edit comments. Despite what the arseholes are saying. People with things to say should come there, and talk... people, talk. Like adults. Like humans. Like men.

Think we can?

Happy times and places

Eddie

Hands Across The Vortex: Or Skaro Leads The Way

2009-02-19T02:50:00.000-08:00

I think, faithful reader, one of the defining characteristics about Outpost Skaro - and my growing infamy - was that it was born out of fire and battle - a bit like the Ninth Doctor. It was, like my original blogs, acerbic and cruel and defensive and uncompromising. Now, that's not a criticism, or, indeed, an apology. Just an observation.

Like the Ninth Doctor, however, I - and by proxy Outpost Skaro - have mellowed with age, and become something more. The Tenth Doctor, if you will. Skaro itself is a wonderful place full of clever, opinionated, talented and caring people with diverse and interesting lives. And in Skaro we talk about that - one of our people have just had a baby! Another is getting married. We have an RPG - which I must confess I haven't played yet - that invites the whole community to come together, and it has a chatroom, which does pretty much the same. People who weren't given a chance in the "other places" are now bright and shining Mods in Skaro and showing a humour, self control and grace seen no where else. It's a wonderful place full of amazing people. And I am humbled and proud to be it's face. However masked that is.

A couple of things - apart from the community support we give to our members and the one on ones that happen behind the scenes - that I am particularly proud of are:

Our apology to DWF and Steve Hill. Both that forum in its ethos and Steve Hill in his person attacked Skaro very vigourously - and me in particular - for apparently no reason. We of course, defended ourselves, and, in my opinion, it all got a little out of hand. Let me say here and now that I have no beef at all with Shaun Lyon or the patrons of DWF in general. Shaun has always been courteous and professional towards me, and the majority of patrons in DWF are bright and articulate and enthusiastic. In fact, we have a few joint members. Arisia for instance is a funny, clever and valued member of the Skaro community. Not to mention damned foxy. And of course, there is the wonderfully dark Mr Dark, without whom, ironically, fandom would be a blacker place. Steve on the other hand has had a number of personal pops at me, and allowed certain trolls the grace of commenting on me, in posts and sigs, in the forum. So, like I said, we fought back.

However, Skaro is bigger than that - I am bigger than that - despite the slanderous comments and the unfair banning I put up a public apology to him and DWF. Unconditional, without motives, just a straight forward "we were a bit over the top sometimes, and we're sorry." We didn't get a reply, and I was disappointed with that, but, hey, it wasn't done for a reply, it was done because we - and I - meant it.

Now, don't get me wrong. We will continue to comment on fandom - all fandom - and bring to account trolls and bullies and people who try to waste the series with spoilers - we are the protectors of these things - but DWF has had it's Spoilers closed now, thanks to the leaks being blocked, and it seems to have dispersed the egos, so we're not chasing them through a field with a net.

On the subject of trolls, this is another thing I am immensely proud ot. Last month we were attacked in a blog and in comments on here from someone posing as Rich Flair. For those of you who don't know Rich, he's a vocal and prominant member of the DWF community and HATES us at Skaro - I'm not sure why actually. When I was a normal punter on DWF for years before I "came out" we got on well and invariably agreed - when I left and showed myself he took a dislike to me and the forum and constantly sniped at it and its members over on DWF - and was allowed to.

However, it became clear quite early on that the blog delivered under his name - and primarily attacking the much loved Mr Dark (who's me, apparently, go figure! I'm much better looking for a start...) - wasn't Rich at all, but a nameless troll spilling poison into what was at the time pretty calm waters.

So, despite the snipes and the attitude and the way he hated us, SKARO went about finding who the troll was and closing him down. We contacted Rich in DWF and told him about it. Even Mr Dark - who spars with the real Rich frequently - backed the guy up and is now on the tail of the real culprit. So we protected Rich and his integrity and his own name, despite how he had been with us.

And Rich, if you read this, it was a genuine, sanctioned by all, move to help you out. We hold you or anyone else no malice.

To me that sums Skaro up and maybe helps belay some of the misconceptions. We will attack Trolls who invade our space or try to corrupt fandom - and we will attack them strongly, with vigour and energy and ferocity. We'll stop them, we always do. But it's not a personal thing, it's not a DWF v Skaro thing, it's not an Eddie v The Establishment.

It's done cos it's what the Doctor would do. And that's the whole point of being a Doctor Who based fan leader. We do what he does. We stop the monsters. We stand up for everyone. That's the point. That, amongst the myriad of other things, is exactly what Skaro is, and why I urge people to join and get involved.

Happy times and places

Eddie

The Last Days of the Prince Regent

2009-01-20T06:35:00.000-08:00

And now, the end is near, and so I face, the final curtain...

David Tennant has began filming his last set of Doctor Who adventures, and, by next New Year's Day, will be striking a pose and morphing into young Master Smith. Ahem...

David, we'll miss you.

You know, for me - and you - the governor is Tom, but, matey, you come a close damn second. And it's not just the performance. I mean, I could go on about gravitas and authority and attacking the role. I could go on about light and shade and multifaceted dimensions. But it doesn't come down to that. It comes down to that little eight year old laddie, watching the telly with stars in his eyes, and seeing you, his Doctor, the Doctor, fighting the baddies with a wink and a grin. Never thinking of himself, never putting himself first. It's impossible odds, it's the spectacular, it's Doctor Who.

And for a generation, David, you were it, you were the Doctor. For little children everywhere they'll remember Human Nature as we remember Pyramids of Mars (and I'm saying NOTHING!), they'll remember Rose leaving like we remember Sarah Jane. But mostly they'll remember you, fighting the monsters, being the guy who gives them nightmares. Bounding through the Library fighting shadows, standing down a fleet of Daleks, and towing the Earth home. They'll remember you sword fighting a Cyberman, falling in love, scaring the bad guy just with your name.

And from all that, the unassuming person that you are. The man who's still a little surprised with the success, the man who thinks "get out now before I'm found out". But we know better. You're the talent of this generation.

So thank you, David Tennant, thank you for Awww yes, and allons-y and molto bene! Thank you for converse trainers and skinny suits and a click and wink. Thank you for being my Doctor. The same one as Tom. You're the same guy.

Happy Times and Places

Eddie

Tennant To Leave: Three To Screentest As Auntie Beeb Says "No"

2008-10-29T16:47:00.000-07:00

Bugger.

Well, as you all know David has announced he is to leave Doctor Who at the end of the last Special next year. I have to tell you, faithful reader, that whatever I have read regarding that, didn't include a regeneration. I spoke to David at the weekend, and he was still then saying he wanted to stay. It was, it appeared, up to the BBC. Negotiations had been ongoing for a while, and the "final offer" had been put on the table. Although amiable, both parties were quite a distance apart. David, I believe, wanted another "hiatus" after series 5 and a promise of a film to be pursued. The BBC were not happy to go along with that. Neither, incidentally, was The Moff. So it looks like things have reached a dead end. The Upperboat guys are now a bit in shock, as they fully expected David to be returning. However, the chance is now on for a new Doctor, and tonight I have learned that three known actors are to screentest for the part before Christmas. Who thoughs guys are at the moment, I don't know, but as soon as it is safe to do so, I'll let you know.

David, you're a friend and an incredible actor, an amazing Doctor. For a lot of children you are their Doctor. You wanted to do the part justice, my friend, in reality, you did more than that, you made it soar. You will be missed.

In other news, both Omega's Biscuit and I are amazingly pleased by the response of the newly launched Outpost Skaro - the darkside of fandom. We, just today, reached 1000 posts. Yay us. Remember if you haven't already joined, please do so. Speaking of forums, my ban on DWF has been lifted. Steve, Arisia and Arnold seem to spend just as much time in Skaro as they do in their own forum these days, and, after some questioning, Steve said that if anyone banned contacted him, there was a fair chance they would be reinstated. So I did, and apologised for the double profile. And, to his word, he reinstated me. Yay. However, I have to say, I was kinda enjoying my lurker status, and may just continue to do that... I'm enjoying posting more in Skaro, if I'm honest. Perhaps the whole DWF thing has tainted my view of it. Nevertheless, I certainly will join any debate about Doctor Who if it piques my interest enough - or if it's started by a git. :p Having said that, thanks to Steve for his genuine responses on Skaro and Arisia for her enthusiasm. And erotica. Oh my. And to answer the comment on the previous post about why I would want to be there if its all just a tv show, well, because I should be there, because its important that, if you are talked about, or have interests discussed, it's only fair that there is a right to reply. Whether that reply is public or private, it's important to be able to have it. It never ceases to amaze me though why strangers think they have the right to demand justification from what others do. Pomposity and arrogance and perhaps a boring life, I'd imagine.

So a busy old day fandom wise. Phew.

Outpost Skaro: The Darkside of Fandom

2008-10-23T08:08:00.000-07:00

Now, check this out, faithful reader. I've only gone and made myself a forum, that's all. I don't think it will be particularly busy, and no doubt some people will say "Ha! There's Eddie in a forum on his own talking to himself!" (To be fair, I quite like the sound of that!) But if you drop by here and want a look, please go and see. Incidentally, it will be very lightly moddied, so even if you want to start a thread that goes "Eddie Is A Fucking Tit!" it will stay, and people can comment on it. Although, to be fair, if it is the ONLY one, I may set fire to myself.

Anyway, it's a forum for you guys, not for me... please go over, play with it, post threads, comments, fight like cat and dog... have fun.

Outpost Skaro

Happy Times and Places

Eddie

The Moffman Prophecies: Or How To Catch A Thief

2008-10-15T12:11:00.000-07:00

If there is one thing that Steven Moffat - new supremo of Doctor Who - hates, it's spoilers. I mean, it's a bit obvious isn't it? Did we see Silence in the Library? As two regimes battle for supremacy in the Upper Boat castle, two disparate but parallel views have come together - get rid of the spoilers.
The way it's considered there is that spoilerites are as good as thieves - idea thieves, plagiarists, parasites. They gain notoriety from revealing other peoples hard work. They're the guys who walk out of the cinema and say to the next queue waiting to see The Sixth Sense "Willis is a ghost", just cos they can. As a writer I'm in two minds about spoilers. I think TEASERS are a good idea... little titbits that make viewers go "ooooo" or make casual passer by's goe "I'll watch that", but to be given the full plot of things months before broadcast can't be good for people's enjoyment of the thing. As for the guys who give the spoilers out... well, I mean, why? Is it an altruistic, giving ans sharing attitude for the greater good? Or is it a "I know better than you, nya-nya" ego trip? Well, I know spoilerites, and I'm pretty sure that some of them are not on ego trips. In my own foray into the world of Spoilers, I have to say I met four types of people. First, the spoilers, these came in two versions. The guys who were geniune, honest, and went "wow, I didn't know that, do you think...? What about this...? Have you heard...?" and conversations start. Great people. Then there were the other ones. The "he just stepped on our toes" guys. The "if I don't know it he's a plant/liar/fantasist" guys. That's a shame, people who thought like that, because, to be honest, I never wanted to do that.

On leaving Upper Boat I was approached and asked if I wanted to release some "official" spoilers - titbits of info on the workings of the creative process that would give fans a good insight into the working of how an adventure evolves, how guest stars are approached, how themes are developed. I was delighted to do this. The spoilers I was getting would never be got by the regular guys because, frankly, they had no where near the access I had. I mean they could SAY they did, but, on the whole, the didn't. No where near. But that shouldn't have mattered. It was all genuine, interesting, juicey stuff.

Then there are the recipricators, the spoiler readers. These come in two types too. There are the normal, great guys - read my comments! Interested, polite, intelligent guys and gals who say "well, it might or might not be true, but it's definitely interesting, and it's started a conversation and raised my excitement level..." and then got on with it. Then there were the trolls. The cynics. The guys who if they didn't believe it it had to be false. Ergo, I was a liar. But I've said enough about those type of guys, and they did my job for me. Thanks to them.

The thing is, due to the increase in spoilers and the treatment of certain forum members, the spoiler givers, spoilerites, and sanctioners of spoilers are now being targetted. The leaks at Upperboat are being plugged with P45's. The Spoilerites are being discredited with ridiculous "exclusives" that will turn out to be balls - Coughpaulmcganncoughsevendoctorscough - and a few more. There is a wonderful one going around right now that is in itself so distasteful it's not funny. About the next actor to play the Doctor - I'm not getting involved, but let's just say that the Moff and the BBC are not so naive, insensitive, narrowminded or bigotted to stunt cast an actor because of his colour and the actors in question are far too intelligent to be duped. This is not the 80s! The next Doctor might be Jimmy Mistri, Adrian Lester, Sean Pertwee or even Jackie Chan, as I said to a friend today, but he will not be chosen because he is Asian, Black, White or Chinese. He'll be chosen because he is the best man for the job. A moments thought would tell people that.

The McGanngate thing was the first of the stingers to come from Upperboat. There are LOTS coming, big ones, crackers. I emplore any spoilerites, if they have an an ounce of respect for their dawgs, and I know most do, to back off, not ask, stop posting. People will lose their jobs. Careers will be scuppered. We may even need new Cybermen and Daleks! Guys and gals, it's just not worth it. Cos, believe me, although 99% of the guys receiving the spoilers are good and kind and honest people, there are those out there who are not. And it only takes one or two.

The new regime doesn't just want to block spoilers, it wants to stop the ability to post them. It's looking at confidentiality and plagiarism laws, it's looking at disinformation and smokescreens. It's looking at discrediting established posters and sacking moles. The sources will dry up, and if something gets out, then it gets out because it's been allowed to. Either it's been sanctioned like mine - which, although taken in good faith could be as much bollocks as anything else - or it's a stinger, or a spoiler with a tracking device on it! The internet isn't a Romulan Cloaking Device I'm afraid. They will be caught.

The programme works best when no one knows what's happening - the majority of the country didn't know that David's regeneration in Stolen Earth was a false one - and the spoiler wasted it for those online who didn't want to know the outcome. Steven Moffat was very clear in his message to spoilerites in Forest of the Dead (a name with so many analogies! Surely people got that!!?) - desist. Stop. Nothing good can come of it. The chase is better than the finding out.

I agree.

Happy Times and Places

Eddie

Sean Pertwee Interview

2008-10-12T10:07:00.000-07:00

He started off by apologising for the timing of the call. We had meant to chat yesterday, but things had held Sean up. I have to say, I was secretly pleased, as a bug had me in my bed all day. Giant it was, sat on top of me. :)

I asked him about the bet he had put on a while ago.

"That's grown legs, hasn't it?" he said. "I did it for a laugh, but I should have known that no one forgets in this industry. Beer plus bets equal years of rumours." So there was nothing in it? "Well, at the time, I would have loved to do it... I'd heard my name in rumours and thought it would be a laugh. Next thing I know I'm the next Doctor Who." Then he corrected himself. "The next Doctor... that's it, yeah?" We drift for a while discussing Doctor Who and his dad's involvement in the show. I had known his dad quite well in the final couple of years of his life, and we chatted about that for a while. Now, back to business. The eleventh Doctor?
"I would jump at the chance, I'd love to. My son is very proud of his grandfather in the role, and I would never live it down if I had a chance to play the part and didn't. It's the part, though, isn't it?" He paused. "Although can I just say that I am not at present signed to be anyone? The way I hear it David Tennant is hanging around for another year or two, but I thought I'd get my towel on that sun lounger before anyone else did. I made enquiries, made sure I wasn't stepping on anyones toes..." So you approached the PtB? "Not in so many words, no. That's not how it works. Not to my knowledge anyway. I know Eccleston did that though, didn't he? Maybe I should. I've let it be known, I've spoken to, em, people. The fact is that I would love to play the eleventh Doctor, or the twelfth, or the thirteenth, fourteenth. Although I'll probably be too old then. It's a young man's part now. I doubt even if my dad would have been cast in today's climate. Or Baker." Again the convo drifted a little to other things - things, has Holmes was fond of saying (that's Sherlock, not Robert) best left for another time - until we got back to the heart of the matter... "Would you play the eleventh Doctor? If asked...?" He laughed. "They'd better ask me," he said, "I still have the velvet jacket somewhere..."

That's a shorter version of the actual thing, which I may try and sell somewhere, if I'm honest.

Thanks Sean!

Happy Times and Places

Eddie

Exclusive Sean Pertwee News

2008-10-10T16:13:00.000-07:00

I'm rubbish at headlines, eh?

So this is what's happened... It seems that Sean is head and shoulders above everyone else for the position of the Doctor. The reason being is that, not only do the PtB want him to take the role, but Sean himself is actually pursuing it. He's instructed his agents to approach the BBC, contacted RTD and the Moff directly, and, perhaps noticeably, got the OK from David to do so. David, it seems, has given him his blessing... but not just yet.

In other news, I have to inform you, faithful reader, that it looks like the Neil Gaiman/Ice Warrior thing is not going to happen. I posted this on OG earlier, but it seems no one is interested in people who are entirely honest, similar to the slight retraction about Paul, no one commented... mention an old monster appearing though, and the place goes thermo nuclear. Pfft. Ah well. Change, my dear, and it seems not a moment too soon, perhaps... sorry, I'm thinking out loud. Thank Christ I don't do these drunk. Usually. Anyhoo, where was I? Oh yes, Ice Warriors. It seems The Faces In the Dust is not "a go". Pity that, I might write it myself. That's not to say Neil Gaiman isn't going to be involved, just not in an Ice Warrior story. Shame, that had great potential. Personally.

Another thing is that it looks like the Moff is winning his battle - quite rightly - to not use the Daleks in the series opener. I'm in two minds about this. I know what is coming, and wow, typical, genius Steven, but, hey, we love the Daleks. Unless it's the usually Steptoes moaning over their fingerless gloves... "'arold, its them bloody darleks again, can't we give 'em a rest?" Jeesh... it's THE DALEKS! Have a solero and shut the fuck up. (CR Peter Kay)

I'm also having a bit of an issue with pedantry. I mean, there are some things that are prerequisite to commenting about something else - knowledge being the main one, I mean, like I said, I hate those fuds who start things with "I've never seen the original series but..." or the newbies who insist on called the latest series NuWho. Like that, one word. Like BudLite. THERE IS NO SUCH THING! If we were to call Doctor Who "new" every time it changed it'd be nu-nunu-nu-nununu-nu-nunu-nunununu-nu-nuWho. That's clearly bollocks. It's Doctor Who. Full stop. End of. It's the Davies/Collinson era, even the Tennant one. That's all. Anyway, pendants. Drive me crazy. It's not the guys who say "oh, you didn't know... here.." and tell us stuff... good guys, nice guys, clever guys... it's the guys that go (Pushing glasses up their nose and flattening the brylcreem) "I think you'll find that in the episode entitled "Doctor Who" aka "The TV Movie" aka "The Enemy Within" the Doctor said the planet would be "PULLED" inside out, not "TURNED"." And? Sorry, I was too busy having a life. Or the guys who seem to have an encyclopeidic knowledge of every post ever posted on every thread on every forum... then go and find it... guys who say "that's not right, and to prove it..." and go and lay every DWM out over their bed til they find the offending article and then quote it... my God, is it important? Really? That much? Try wiki. As my old nemesis MLock once said, "sorry, I'm busy getting on with my life" and he's quite right too. Wives and boyfriends and children and family and work and nights out and feeling the wind on your face, are far more important than flicking through DWM for two hours just to prove someone you'll never meet and who doesn't care wrong in front of a lot of other people you'll never meet but who mostly think that makes you a cock. Best just to go "is it? oh... anyway, as I was saying..." No one likes a smart arse. Says the smart arse! :)

Happy times and places

Eddoe

PS I think you'll find that's spelt "Eddie"
Really, em, fuck off. :p

It's A Shame

2008-10-09T01:53:00.000-07:00

This could be a bit of a ramble, faithful reader, so bare with me. Or is it "bear"? I can never remember...

I had a rant a week or so ago about a couple of gobshites on OG. Now, I have to qualify that. OG is a wonderful forum. It is full of intelligent, friendly, clever and funny people with a love for the television programme we all adore. We don't always agree - how boring would that be - but we discuss it, anally, with each other in, mostly, a reasonable, adult, amiable manner. Mostly.

Now, let me explain. I worked for the Beeb in a freelance capacity for years. I know the series intimately. I know the production, the cast, the writers, mostly, and I know how it works. I don't work there any more. The reasons are long and varied, but suffice to say I don't. I was asked though, discreetly, to keep an eye on the spoiler zones, and see what was happening. I was also told that certain things could be "leaked" to pique the interest of the average fanboy and was sanctioned to post these, with a little discreet editing. And that's what I did. Now, I thought I would get "wow, those are great" or "i hope this happens" etc... and, on the whole, I did. Nice guys and gals at OG, proper people. Then, boom. I couldn't believe it. Two posters in particular - not just two, but usually - began a tirade. I mean viscious. I was a liar, a conman, a piss taker. I was undermining the very fabric of reality. I interfered with vulnerable groups. They demanded to know my date of birth and national insurance number, my mothers maiden name and, more importantly, my sources! How dare I post a juicy piece of gossip on a fan forum about a television programme without being credit checked, located on a register and shot. I have to say it surprised, shocked and offended me. Occasionally I fought back. Now, this just made it worse. I should have realised. I was feeding the trolls. I mean, sad little individuals who live in their mum's spare room and hide behind an internet connection they probably don't even pay for, an, occasionally go "muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum! I'll be down presently MOTHER, I am at this juncure fighting off the Moldorn with my virtual magic bean bag, I shall have my hoops in due course!" don't need much encouragement to be centre of attention, because, if i dig out my first degree, I'm sure psychologists would say that a naughty boy will be naughty for attention, whether that attention is good or bad. I mean, I can't believe someone would be so worthy as to make themselves so unpopular with absolutely everyone just to stand up on the moral high ground they pile for themselves for the very people who are going "you know what? can you shut the fuck up? no one is listening...". Or, for that matter, care. It's a fucking television programme! Best one in the world, of course, to us, but Jesus Christ (non blasmphemous comment, being wiccan!), it's not like I worried a sheep or scared a child! I said "Patrick Stewart Might Be The Meddling Monk". Jeesh, shoot me now, I'm such a bad man! However, for guys who would embalm their own mother then dress like her after she dies, maybe that is the height of drama in their little lives. Making themselves unpopular with people they will never meet. A look at their profiles tells you that, no friends, no details, just blank. Like the look in their eyes whilst doing the one handed typing to YouPorn or wondering what a grown woman looks like naked in real life. Terrible, little men. As I've said before - to a little anger it has to be said - I'm a man, a guy, a lad. I drink bud and I go to the football. I have a girlfriend. Sometimes, I even have sex. With her. And I go "ref, you're having a fucking laugh mate!". Not at the same time, of course. No referees in my bedroom. My point is, that, if I have a problem with another man, in a man's way, I'd say, ok mate, let's meet up, let's discuss it, like adults, in person. That doesn't mean "I'm going to kick fuck out you, you stupid little turd" it means "Stop hiding, be a man, stand up, be accountable" and offer to do the same. But no, that wasn't to happen.

So then another occurance yesterday, after Lee and I had discussed maybe just ignoring them, that I received an email from, indirectly, the top dawgs of the programme saying "look, thanks, we appreciate the publicity, and the flack you took, but, basically, can you stop now?" Looks like the smokescreen of real spoilers was a ruse to send a stinger to find out where the unofficial ones where coming from. Most that would be Paul McGann (the stinger, not the leak) and, with his permission, McGanngate was set up. I kinda knew, mostly, eventually, cos I never stopped digging, and my phone call at the weekend and email yesterday confirmed that. Pity, it would have been a great story. Now it's a great story for another reason.

So, by request of the the Powers That Be, I'm stepping back from the Spoiler Business. Make no mistake that I do that due to respect for them and the programme. If every one of my spoilers turns out to be a lie, then, you know what? I'm glad. Cos you know what it's done? It's deflected the spies away from the actual business of making this fantastic programme, it's kept the real secrets secret, and that's a good thing. Isn't it?

I do however have one last piece of very, very interesting news, and this is uniquely for my blog. The guys at OG who know me will read this, and those are the guys it is for. It's not, as we say in Scotland, for the bawbags to comment on. So, after a little i dotting and t crossing, I'll have this final - for now - bombshell with you before the day is out.

Happy Times and Places

Eddie

Is Tom Baker REALLY Coming Back?

2008-10-06T01:27:00.000-07:00

Now this is one of those fascinating things. This is when speculation joins expectation. See, the people in charge of Doctor Who are fans too, to a man, so what we say "wouldn't that be cool?", so, on the whole, do they. Of course, there is a difference between coollness and fanwank (CR Craig Hinton, the best fan in the world!), but sometimes, like an eclipse, they spectacularly collide. Daleks v Cybermen anyone? {{{you-are-bet-ter-at-dyyyyying}}} Genius!

Now, with reference to my Nightshade stuff, it seems that the OG guys have picked up on something I deliberately left out - like I said, there have got to be some surprises left - but it looks like the cat is out of the bag. An elderly star of a former telefantasty programme? Professor Nightshade could very well be played by former, my Doctor, Sir Thomas Of Baker. That's Tom Baker. In Doctor Who. Again. With David Tennant. Midseason viewing booster. Reunited with Annabelle Reid from Monarch of the Glen . Aw yes. Molto bene!

Now, nothing is confirmed, nothing is agreed, and nothing is certain, but, if, with a fair wind and some good karma, all goes to plan, I think Nightshade, if made, could become the all time all best ever Doctor Who adventure.

Scuse me, whilst I wipe my chair.

Series 5 Update

2008-10-05T15:31:00.000-07:00

League of Gentleman star and Doctor Who writer Mark Gatiss has been asked to collaborate in an adaptation of his novel Nightshade for the fifth series of Doctor Who, which begins filming next year. Gatiss has written two original Doctor Who stories for the revived television series, as we all probably know - The Unquiet Dead and The Idiots Lantern - and appeared as the titular Professor Lazarus in the series 3 episode The Lazarus Experiment, by River City creator Stephen Greenhorn.

Nightshade, is, in my opinion, a wonderful story, about an evil invading a lonely village, and the power of nostalgia, focussing on the former star of a tele fantasy programme, called, of course, Nightshade, who is drawn into events where he meets the Doctor. It's proper, old school, Doctor Who. There's a link to the ebook here

It's well worth a look at.

Series 5 looks to be shaping up slightly differently to the previous ones, with more two parters. It's understood the Moff wants to have a bias towards those. So far, we know:

The Daleks are likely to open in a two parter, however, the Moff is understood to be resisting this
Nightshade could be adapted into a two part adventure, scripted by its author, Mark Gatiss
The Ice Warriors could return in an episode provisionally entitled The Faces In The Dust
The Zygons will be revealed as the big bads, in a Doctor-lite episode 11 and the two part series finale
The new companion could be a non contemporary Scot, played by a newcomer (see below)

I really like the sound of this new series, and hope all this actually comes to pass.

Who's The Doctor's New Friend?

2008-10-05T09:34:00.000-07:00

The front runner for the role of the new companion in Doctor Who is Scottish actress Annabelle Reid. She has had, like Freema Ageyman, limited exposure on British Television in series such as Monarch of the Glen, Taggart, Dream Team and Rab C Nesbitt. She has though had extensive theatre work, primarily Shakespearean in Twelfth Night and Henry VIII.

It is thought that she may be introduced at the end of the Specials, and is to be a "non contemporary companion", most likely one from the past, and is probably called Lucy.

Of course, this, like every other piece of news right now, open to change and confirmation, but I thought you guys might like to know.

If I hear anything else, I'll let you know.

The Moff Masterplan

2008-10-01T02:25:00.000-07:00

It looks like the Moff Masterplan is out there... well, not entirely. What get's to me is that there is a culture of people going "oooooooh heads will role for this...". This is nonsense. These are industry secrets - just not 100% enough to send out a press release, but EVERYONE knows. Why do fanboys constantly think there's a huge conspiracy about storylines and casting? There ain't. If it looks like there is, we're being played. Fake regeneration anyone?

So it looks like Moff is opening with a two parter. Radical departure. Well, not really. Rumour has it the BBC want it to feature the Daleks - Stevens not so sure - but, I mean, Daleks, Doctor Who, Moffat... it's just far too juicey, isn't it? There won't be the old "Bad Wolf/Saxon/Torchwood" thing going on in series 5, but there will be a linking theme. It's a corker. I'm saying nowt. However, in RTD stylee, the words "zygon", "coattails" and "all the time..." feature in it. Squee. Yeah, I said "Zygon". It's pretty much 100% that these are the guys who are the big bad for the series. And more insiduous than every before. Think what they can do, what they tried to do in Terror of the Zygons! An Invasion of the Bodysnatchers feel we could be getting. Suits Moffat's slightly darker approach. And, apparently, there is a shock when it turns out there's a Zygon in every episode! Squee.

New companion time has come again, or will soon, and I hear the net has been cast for a Welsh, Irish or Scottish actress to play a non contemporary assistant. I like this idea. Considering the Moff and DT are Scots, I wouldn't bet against that being the case here. A latter day Jamie in an actual frock this time. And it ties in with Terror of the Zygons too.

Special wise the Patrick Stewart rumour mill rolls on. Is he Omega? Rassilon? Rosemary the telephone operator? Henry, the mild mannered janitor? :) Well, I know, and I'm not saying. But suffice to say, if Patrick does not accept the role, then it won't be recast, that's how much they want him. Oh yes.

So the plan is, as far as I know... fewer old enemies in series 5 - however Ice Warriors and Zygons are very old school, and the Daleks debatable... especially if the Moff has his way... opening on a two parter, another half way through the season, provisionally entitled The Faces In The Dust, Doctor-lite leading into the big two part ending. Not so far off the mark. We'll have more planets, less soap, and, I hear, more normal things turning into monsters. Oooo. Very Moffat. Genius.

I for one think Doctor Who is about to hit a Golden Age.

Whatever Happened To Kids TV?

2008-09-19T11:02:00.002-07:00

I found myself at the mercy of a five year old and a remote control the other day. Kids TV! Eeek. Now, I'm not aversed to kids TV, far from it... I'll watch Art Attack with the best of them, but what the hell has happened to the rest of it? I mean, cartoons have become so edited and quickfire - there's a thing called Planet Sketch - jesus christ! - and the voices are screechy and irritating... how I long for the dulset tones of Mel Blanc! Or the calming narration of Derek Griffiths! Even the playful vocals of Brian Cant! But now its all MTV and ratatattat! It flashes in front of your eyes like a strobe like - thank god I'm not an epileptic! And it's loud! So, so loud... What's happened to the glorious meanderings of Bagpuss, or even the frantic adventures of Dangermouse or, imagine it, Batfink!

And don't get me started on Grange Hill... actually, too late. OK, I'm of the generation that absolutely associated with Tucker Jenkins. I was Tucker! And I'd race home to catch his escapades at that famous school. Mrs McClusky, Mr Bronson, all those guys. I always though Fay was hot, but then when I got older, I knew it was Tricia... and since I was the same age, it isn't being a paedo! The thing about though, is that it was real. It was condensed, of course, but the people were real enough to care about. Firm but fair headmistress, evil Maths teacher, tough PE teacher... we had those guys at school. Everyone knew a Tucker or an Alan or a Benny. Now though? It's like Grange Hill putting on a stage play of Grange Hill. Drama school children shouting their lines and standing like Bonnie Langford. It suffers from - gasp - Time and the Rani Syndrome!

Phil Redmond was known for taking the bizarre and making it normal - Brookside, take a bow - but when the bizarre remains bizarre, children won't watch it, cos they look at the people in it and go "Wanker.". After Tucker came Zammo and Rolaaaaaand and all those guys, and that made sense.. they were "the year below me", but they were still real kids. Now though, it's too shiny, and too staged, and has lost its way. The thing is, with a contemporary of it, The Sarah Jane Adventures, we know what we're getting, we know it's going to be fantastical, so we accept it, with Grange Hill, the kids have just come home from school and they go, "What? Where's that? Where're the single mums and the hoodies and the alcoholic teachers?" and then they go "Wankers." and switch over to Deal or No Deal. Or go online. Or go out and drink cider and a Bacardi Breezer whilst crafting a fly snout.

What Grange Hill needs is a dose of realism, not more fantasy. It needs not to talk down to children, but treat them like adults. But not treat them like adults treating children like adults, cos that comes across as partronising. What they need to do is to make Eastenders, in a school, and call it Grange Hill. Of course you cut back on some of the more unsavoury aspects, but not them all. You go, pardon the phrase, old school. The acting and production may be better, but in real life people don't act, and there's no production, and kids know this. They don't know how they know, but they do.

So goodbye, Grange Hill. I enjoyed my time in your classes better than my own. And my class mates of Tucker, Alan, Benny, Tricia and the gang, great time. Mind old Ronson? What a laugh!

Maybe, in 16 years, RTD could bring it back. You never know.

This Bloody McGann Thing

2008-09-19T11:02:00.000-07:00

So, it seems that the great bastion of integrity known as The Sun has run an article about Paul McGann returning as the Doctor in the Specials coming up next year. Ok, I thought, let's see where this came from, because, to be frank, if it was true, I would have been told. Turns out it came from OG, or TDWF or whatever it's called this week. I love it there, I really do, it's - usually - full of intelligent, well adjusted, and verbose people talking a lot of sense about the series we all love. So we found out where this story originated. Here! Turns out theres a Spoiler King called The Doctors Trainers - nice guy, hardly ever wrong, apparently, and this is why he has a massive following of guys and gals who hang on his every word. Fair enough, I thought, I'll investigate. So what do I do... well... I know Upperboat - we KNOW I know Upperboat, I'll ask there. I'm told, nope bollocks. That's usually good enough for me, but, well, this is a huge story, I mean the Paul McGann returning, to the fold... blow all the he's not canon and the Doctor's not half human guys out the water!... so I contact the press guys, again, I'm told nope, not true... then the publicists, my pal there, she says, nope, and here's a statement... fair enough I thought, but, as a belt and braces kind of guy, I thought, I know, if you wana know the time, ask a Time Lord... so I contact Paul's agent, they say "it's not true, but since it's you, it's ok to give Paul a buzz and ask..." so I text him. He calls back. Amiable, funny, sarcastic, a perfect gent. "Yeah, I heard that," he says, then goes on to deny it. Not that he wouldn't, just that he isn't. We talk about other things, football mainly, then we say out goodbyes.

Now, that's enough surely? What else could I ask? Where else could I go? I know! The Doctor, the actual Doctor! Davvvviiiiid? "When? Where? Next year? Have they changed it? I didn't know that... they haven't? Oh.... I like Paul too, that'd've been fun..."

No one knew, not a soul... not the leading man, the man in question, the writers, the publicists, no one. Then Neill Gorton comes out and mentions it too. A little ironic quip about him being the only person in Upperboat who doesn't know. You and me both Neill. So it's pretty cut and dried, you'd think, eh? The Cult of the Trainer has been given the bum steer of Harriet Jones in a Dalek Supreme proportion... so surely when I post all this, it will slowly go away?

You'd think, eh?

What happened amazed me... properly amazed me.

What actually happened was The Cult of Trainer turned into the Lalala Our Fingers Are In Our Ears And We Can't Hear You brigade. Incredible.

These are the guys who reinterprate actual facts to fit their own continuity. Well, they argue, just cos they say it isn't, doesn't mean it won't... just cos it's not happening in the specials, doesn't mean it can't.. everyone's a liar, everyone's in a huge big conspiracy - including me, Sheringham, Lee... all the guys who know what's actually happening... lalala.. we're not listening... even the voice of two Doctors' (three actually, I discussed it with Sylvester, a friend of Paul's), isn't enough for the conspiracy people. And all because RTD lied about the Master...

Now, onto a topic of a related nature. Our sad little friend Angry Who Fan - the man so fierce he moderates his comments page - decided to have a rant about the discussion on OG, calling it "tired" and describing me as, what was it... oh that's right, a "cunt" and then suggestion I was an Upperboat Stooge and the Cigarette Smoking Man. Now, considering he stole the initial X File analogy from me, it seems a bit rich. Particularly from a man who's only real contact with Upperboat is spelling it incorrectly in a sad little blog. As for my sex life, which was alluded to as well, I have to inform him, if he's interested that sex happens between two people, not one hand in front of a PC. Even with real life naked women. Imagine that.