It's The End... But The Moment Has Been Prepared For...

Just, faithful reader, as even the worst days do, this blog has come to an end.

I feel I've made my point. Lots of bang on spoilers (who else got the redhaired Scottish companion last August... em, no one...), the fracturing and discrediting of the spoiler kings, a more secure future series production (does anyone anywhere know what's really happening?) and I've also put all my affairs in order, with a big "let's all be chums" and apologies last blog and of course, the greatest initiative of them all - The United Federation of Fandom.

We're all, at last, pulling in the same direction, and, with the odd silly exception, giving Doctor Who fandom a good name, for a change.

So there's no need for my blogs, at least not with this big old face. You see, I'm going to change, it's this trick bloggers do when they near the end - I'll be around, although I might be different. I might have two heads. Or no head. Imagine. Me! With no head...

Anyway, this old body is wearing a bit thin, and I know how much humans attach a very great deal of importance to appearance, so, no tears, Sarah Jane, it's the end, but the moment has been prepared for... (see what I'm doing here? Do ya?)

OK, last blog, you get that, and the end of Outpost Skaro too, at least in the form of a jesters coat and yellow and black stripy slacks. We're regenerating. Moving house. Thinking big.

Our new forum is at www.outpostskaro.com and it's a beauty. I won't tell you exactly what exclusives we have in there right now, cos, em, well, then they wouldn't be exclusives, but we have the complete fandom experience - videos, games, blogs, social networking, exclusives, competitions, comic books and graphic novels, an e-zine, interviews, features and of course the infamous Skaro forum. Some HUGE surprises come next week too, so get yourself along.

We open on Torchwood Day - 6th July at 9am, but you can register now.

What i'll do is use this page to let you all know, faithful readers, when I do publish a new blog, which will utilise the feature we have in Outpost Skaro from now on, not here, but, for now, this is my last blog.

Thanks for reading, and occasionally commenting... is this death? Adric? No, but it is better than carrot juice. Yeah, carrot juice. I know, carrot juice! And, just to be pedantic, he's out there somewhere, and he has to be stopped... I'm not human...

Oh, and, of course..."blimey, Fitz, I think I pressed the wrong button..."

Happy times and Places, for the last time.


Eddie

Infamy... Infamy... They've AAAlll... You Know The Rest

Enough, already, faithful readers.

I've been having a look, as usual, at the world of fandom, now more than ever. It's an ugly bloody place sometime, eh? Not just the personal attacks and the constant bitching, but the absolute assertion that each individual is 100% right! If you hate the RTD era, you're right, if you love it, and hate the black and whites, you're right, if you live in DWF and hate Skaro, you're right! Well, we're not, we're just giving opinions.

The fighting and the back biting that's been increasing in the last year is an unhealthy and disruptive thing. It takes away from the real reason we're ALL in this. The love of a programme called Doctor Who. When you think of it like that, it all gets a bit silly doesn't it? I mean, "I know something that's going to happen in the future!", "No you don't", "Yeah, I do... you're a cunt!", "Fuck you, you're a paedo!"... and all because someone mentioned a made up moster might be coming back in a Saturday teatime telly show.

The spoilers, per se, are a bad thing, in my opinion, they take away from the hard work done by the brilliant folks at Upperboat. It's unfair on them, and it's unfair on the millions of Not We who have episodes wasted because The Sun or The Mirror publish these spoilers. There are good spoilers though - the ones that illicit conversation and speculation. I mean, who exactly is Timothy Dalton playing??? It's great guessing. But to waste a pivotal scene or a big surprise for a bit of internet kudos from a couple of thousand people is a bit much, dontcha think?

The fall of the House of Lyon and the closing of DWF has its positives. Not the closure of that forum, of course, but the amount of people who've went, "hey, we can do that," and set up fora of their own. Personally, despite the success of Skaro, I have to say it's something I would never have thought of without my good friend Omega's Biscuit. It's his fault! But to see lot's of new ones spring up is heart warming.

But it's also an opportunity. It's a chance to underline the difficulties and the fractures of the past and to not citicise each other for being different but to embrace that difference. Fandom shouldn't talk with one big Cyber-voice, it should be many voices, talking, saying different things, having different opinions. I mean, I don't like spoilers, but if a spoiler site springs up and people want them, so be it. If an anti-RTD site springs up, again, I might not agree with that stance, but, hell, they're entitled to feel that way, aren't they?

The most important thing is that it's done in the spirit of the show and it's principle character. It should be respectful, nonconfrontational, it shouldn't waste it for others, it shouldn't be personal. This is about Doctor Who, ferchrissake! Why are we fighting?

Fans should choose a forum - or six, or ten - and chat and mix and mingle. We should each rely on the others' strengths for support and for encouragement. We should embrace the differences between them all.

I've made my point on trolls and nasties. To that end, I've deleted the contentious blogs I've made over the last year and I'll make a point of not publishing any more. To that end, I request the same in return. Let's get on with enjoying what are going to be some amazing episodes and a brand new Doctor. Matt and Karen deserve to be brought into a family of fandom not bickering with each other like five year olds, but pulling together in support of them.

It's time all the silliness stopped, so, for me, it has. With the advent of Outpost Doctor Who, Gallifrey Base, Planet Kemble's revamp and the soon-to-come Skaro Mark 2, as well as the stalwart of Sebastian at Doctor Who Online, there is room for us all, and petty arguments from the past should remain in the past.

So to everyone I've had a pop at, right or wrong, I apologise. I hold my hand out to you all. It's daft, it's childish, and, in the end, it's pointless. Let's move on together, in a place where we can say our piece without being ridiculed. It doesn't matter who I am or what my job is, it doesn't matter who AWF is, it doesn't matter how people have perceived DWF... it just doesn't matter.

Let's go forward in all our beliefs... and prove to the Doctor that he is not mistaken in his.

Happy Times and Places

Eddie

The Way It Is

You know, faithful reader, I'm very proud of Outpost Skaro. I haven't always been, it has to be said. But now, I am. We have a great forum, there, and, it has to be said, it's even greater now I'm not head honcho.

One man's voice always sounds like the right one in his own head. It isn't always though. Skaro was born out of a fight, and it came out of the womb kicking and screaming. And it's interesting to see how first impressions last.

On DWF recently there was a thread about bad experiences in fora, and, inevitably (because we ARE the best alternative) Skaro came up. A couple of people really do have the wrong impression. It's been described as insular and paranoid, and suggests that the Moderators attack people without provocation.

Right here, I'd like to apologise if that has happened to anyone. In the early days, Skaro was finding its feet, and was being attacked on all sides by a lot of very nasty people with some very nasty things to say. People like MLock and Fat Boab warned me via private messages that they would deliberately go out to spoil it and they almost did. Perhaps we overreacted then, and others got caught in that flack. That isn't right. Sorry folks.

Another thing we are accused of is being a DWF (Doctor Who Forum) basher. I'd like to say catergorically that this is not the case. We discuss FANDOM in Skaro, all aspects of it, and, of course, DWF is the foremost forum on the net, so must by definition come into that remit. I've said before that it is a wonderful forum. It is a fabulous place full of fabulous people and, on the whole, run by fabulous people too. Shaun Lyon is professional, gentlemanly and a thoroughly decent egg.

Because it is so vast though, unfortunately it attracts the same bad guys we do. And those guys are very established there. One of them - a fellow who goes by the name of Doc Filth - hounded a female poster to the point where he threatened to visit her at her place of work and threatened that "he knew where she lived". This is very sinister, and most distressing for the woman in question. I'm sure no one would condone such creepy threats, even if they were meant in jest. My own treatment - from the likes of AWF, Co-Ordinator, 72lf and Mlock - pales into insignificance next to that.

But we must be careful to realise that these guys are NOT DWF. It can be a distinction that is difficult to realise sometimes, due to their high profile, but it is an important and vital one. DWF is the wonderful Canterbury, or Reeecey or the fabulous Mrs Jo Smith. Its doctorwho2008, it's Aspidistra, it's the genius boys and girls in the Toy section - go their, those guys are friendly, welcoming, warm and funny. It's shinyford and his wonderful fanfic, and it's Future Regeneration and his much anticipated audio plays. It's Arisia, and her cool head, and it's Lucy_Who who takes no shit - and rightly so.

Lately, though, there has evolved a new and sinister development. The abusers, by their nature, crave attention of the people with a profile. I have such a profile, of course, so I am constantly bombarded with abusive messages on the fora I visit. Of course, the upside is that I get a lot of nice attention too, and that is very welcome. However, this new thing, is the cult of "one on one". People who, whilst they may visit the Outpost Skaro and they may even do more than lurk there, feel it necessary to engage me on a one to one level.

The latest of these is a young lady called Isobel Clarke. She claims I'm old enough to be her dad, so she must be all of a teenager, but, boy, she has issues. Accusations and name calling abound, a girl who craves the one to one attention of myself for a reason I can only guess at. I reckon it's the thrill of kicking the sleeping tiger. You know the kid who waits til the big guy's knocked out then creeps up behind the bullies and hits him a kick? It must be quite thrilling, to hold me in such high regard, call me names AND get a personal reply. What a rush, I'd imagine. Poor girl. She engaged me over the course of a week, and got increasingly manic with every correspondence. A shame really, she was almost clever. I wish her well.

My point is, it's a new phenomenon. She wasn't after the notoriety of eejits like Fat Boab who tried to engage me in the forum, so they can say "hey guys, check me out, I just called Eddie a cunt...", it was a much more intimate form of engagement. Rather sad. I know a few of the Mods in Skaro have had similar experiences. It's weird. A little violating. Maybe for them too.

However, Skaro flourishes. We're ignoring the latest shot over our bow by the fabulously funny Angry Who Fan and taking it in the spirit in which it was delivered. Satire. We are of course a good target because we're big and loud and powerful in opinion. We're also a recognised voice now, and that's a good thing, so, like the best Rory Bremner episode, I'd rather be the Prime Minister being satired than the back bencher being ignored. The good thing about the publicity afforded by the AWF and DWF is that our membership always swells, and the people who join can see for themselves that we are open and honest and funny and genuine. No vitriol, no nastiness, no name calling. Just honest debate, the occasional peak inside the workings of Doctor Who and membership to the (and I say this as a punter, now I've reliquished control) best new forum since DWF.

Maybe if you happen across this blog, and you're not a member yet, click on the link and join the fun. It's the place to be.

Happy times and places


Eddie

Canon! Balls!

Hello there, faithful reader. And trolls. I get a lotta them...

Canon. Canon, canon, canon, canon. Canon... I hope you're writing this down. Today's lesson, class, is on official timelines and canoninity. What happened and what didn't? Do Big Finish audios "count" as "real" Doctor Who? What about NAs? Or annual short stories? Short trips? The new BBC novels? DWM comic strips? The Dalek Annual...? Actually, I'm boring myself now.

Some people reckon that "canon" is everything that is officially sanctioned by the BBC... everything, official, with a BBC logo on it. Even thoughs "make your own adventures" books with K9. People confuse the word "official" with "canon". It's not the same. "Official" simply means "paying the BBC to use their product and not be sued for it". That's all. It doesn't mean "actually happened".

Let's start discounting things. Let's go right back to the beginning. Target novelisations. Not canon. Why? Well, for a start they give a non-representative view of the episode they novelise. This isn't a criticism, I love em, I learned to read - and write - through them - but they don't always follow the story exactly. Mal Hulke, for instance, was very guilty of changing things round, Stephen Gallagher too. Ian Marter. And of course David Whittaker's Exciting Adventure With the Daleks rewrites An Unearthly Child (using Bunny Webbers original premise) into a brand new origin story. So target novelisations. Nope.

Whilst on books, what about the NAs? Virgin and the BBC produced hundreds of books under the banner "Doctor Who" from the early 90s on, featuring every Doctor from one to eight. Are these canon? Did these adventures "happen" to the Doctor? Well, nope, of course not, don't be silly. Why? Well, because the PtB nowadays plunder them for ideas. Which Doctor had a brush with humanity in Human Nature for example? Well, obviously, it was the tenth. Not the seventh. Obviously. We saw that. That in itself is enough to discount everything else. Or, if not that, then, em, who destroyed Gallifrey? The Faction Paradox? Or the Doctor in a desperate bid to stop the Daleks? Well, the Doctor of course, he's told us. To our face. The Faction Paradox didn't happen. It's just a story.

Big Finish suffer from this more than any other medium. I love big finish, but which Doctor was locked in with a broken and insane Dalek who was thought to be the last of its kind? The sixth? Or the ninth? The ninth, of course. Who went to Pompeii just before Vesuvius erupted!? The tenth! Not wee Times Champion. How many official adventures has the Eighth Doctor had? One, I'm afraid, fighting the Master in San Fransisco.

Doctor Who is a telly show. That's all. And, faithful reader, let's stop bush beating here, it's all pretend. It's made up. It's not real. But in the Doctor's own personal "history" he can't have a million different versions of the same thing. Even the time travel excuse doesn't really hold water. It's a telly show, and what happens on the telly is all that matters. That's why RTD and the Moff adapt the other mediums. The Moff redid Blink from a very recent Doctor Who Annual. He also redid Continuity Errors from Decalog3 for Silence In The Library (well, at least used the same setting) and RTD paid Marc Platt for the idea of The Rise of the Cybermen from Spare Parts - even though it's just the pulses that are the same. Human Nature is a complete rewrite, by the same author. So is Dalek.

The television series is all. It's all that matters. The rest is fun. It's genius, in fact. It's brilliant drama written by very talented people. But in the Doctor's universe, it didn't happen, it's just a distraction. It's just a way to make money and to feed fans Who when there is none. Licenced fan fiction, mostly. Brilliant fan fic, but just that. Incredibly well written fan fic, but no more. It's no more "real" than if you wrote a wee story for your nan.

Doctor Who has it's own internal continuity problems - UNIT for talkings sake. I mean, what? Where? When? ("Slightly in the future" according to Barry Letts in The Sea Devils dvd, "the real world, but not ours, slightly in front...") So, the Brigadier retires... anyway, you know the score, you know the worms. We don't need the can here. I mean, we have that, we don't really need te rest. People like Terry Nation, Bob Holmes, Terrance Dicks, alumni of Whovian scriptures, bastions of the narrative, those guys didn't give a fuck if it was set then, had been done before, was a bit like this or that, they went with the story, that's all. Eric Saward lost the plot with Ian Levine for moaning about "27 glaring continuity errors" in a draft of Johnny Byrnes Warriors of The Deep. And it was that kind of bollocks that ground the eighties into the ground. I mean, how hard would it have been, rather than get Levine to look at it, to say "hey Johnny, watch those two adventures, eh? Give us a story that doesn't step on toes..." That's lip service to the fans, and that's what RTD does now. He gives us excuses for continuity errors. The Time War. Torchwood. He gives us escape valves. He doesn't need to.

Terry Nation completely rewrote the origins of the Daleks - at least once - but no one blinked. In fact Genesis of the Daleks might contain more than "27 glaring continuity errors" but who gives a shit? It's brilliant!

Canon is an old word describing whatever the pope at that time decreed to be the official turn of events. It didn't have to be accurate, just what the pope decided. Some popes would countermand previous ones. History was rewritten.

RTD in the pontif of Who. I'm sure you'll love the imagery Russell, I can see you in a cassock.. the Moff soon will be. Brilliant! Genius! Fabulous fellows both. What those guys say goes. Full stop. It doesn't make it any righter than the last guy, or more wrong than the next.

It's what we see that makes our "history" or "reality". Doctor Who begins and ends on Saturday teatime telly. The rest is smoke.

Happy Times and Places

Eddie

Planet of The Dead

I think, faithful reader, that Planet of the Dead is going to work better as a prologue to what's to come, rather than a one-off Special, and that the next four - or even all five Specials if you count The Next Doctor - will work best as a whole than as individuals. Can't wait for the boxset.

However, despite the exuberance and bonkers flying bus, Planet of the Dead was a little cold for me. It wasn't the romp RTD promised us, and, in fact, was pretty slim on incident and thick on coincidence. If it hadn't been for the Tritovores magic crystal bus levitating devices Time's Champion, the man who gives monsters nightmares and the last of the Time Lords (cept for the Master, and maybe someone else) would have been munched up by some metallic coated stingrays gleaned from an old Judge Dredd comic, not standing screaming with a flaming torch at the gates of some Greek-sounding Time Battle. Pity that. The Dubai setting - whilst pretty - was, well, pretty bland and very underused. This was, I'm afraid, Who by numbers.

What I don't hold with is others views on David Tennant. He's sparkling in every scene, and slipped back into the Doctor's Chuck Taylors after eight months away with aplomb. The Tenth Doctor is a wonderful creation. Good too, was Michelle Ryan, who I've been banging on about for years, as the faux-companion (technically, pedants, not an ACTUAL companion, of course... no TARDIS trips for her). Lady Christina, whilst Lara Croft inspired and Tom Cruise dressed was a decent character (although how much better would it have been to have started with a Ball in the museum with her in flowing robes and dripping class, only to sneak away and change into the cat burglar - give us a sense of the "Lady" instead of the odd plumby vowel) and a good foil for the Doctor, but, of course, in the end, fell into the "what is it Doctor?" mould of yore. Pity that.

Lee Evans, however, was a revelation. Wonderfully comic, a proper "LOL" and warm and believable. Even his Welsh accent. Definitely someone I'd like to see again, and, as UNIT's scientific advisor, maybe that isn't impossible.

The whole thing however, was a bit "meh" for me. It's always good to see the Doctor back, and I love the little echoes as to what's heading his way, but I feel the effort and expense to get the bus, ship it to Dubai and to use that actual setting was an effort because they could, not because they had to. In the long run Gareth ditched most of The Highest Science for an hours worth of fluff. I think I'da prefered an adaptation.

This isn't a bad episode of Doctor Who. Don't think it is. It's all just a bit "so what?". It was fun, it was bonkers, it was original in parts. But, ironically, the derivitives wasted good ideas, the Tritovores were badly realised and underused plot devices (oh, whilst I'm on about the Tritovores, did anyone notice my stinger...? When first shown I made a comment on Outpost Skaro about the similarities to them and Kocquillion in The Rescue, and, indeed, some similarities in plot. Before long the lauded DWF was declaring that the Tritovore was actually Malcolm in a mask! Hmmm, never learn that lot...) and the rest of the characters two dimensional.

It's been said RTD has run his course with Doctor Who, that his tricks are all out of the bag. I don't think, in all honesty, he would disagree. And, sadly, neither would I. The bonkers-ending and kitchen-sink plots have all been done. This isn't a criticism, RTD has been remarkable as head writer on Doctor Who and shown many, many original and genius stories and styles. But, with this, The Next Doctor and even Journey's End, he's probably leaving himself no where else to go. Except for Mars, I suppose. If you think he's run out of steam, believe me, he has nothing to lose with these next three Specials. By New Years Day we'll have seen him throw caution to the wind in abandon and put our tenth Doctor - and the RTD family - through more than you'll ever think he would.

Planet of the Dead is a nice starter, a prawn cocktail of a first course in a meal that, by the end, is going to leave us all amazed, satisfied and exhausted.

Happy Times and Places

Eddie

The Representation of Doctor Who

Now, faithful reader, before I go on I have to tell you this is not all about fandom. In fact, I've had my fill of that, at least for a while, well, at least the daft flame war malarky.

The way I figure it, DWF is all but ignoring all the nonsense that has goneon, and AWF is actually posting funny blogs that have nothing to do with the carry on in the past. After taking a wee look and stepping back, I noticed that the only places throwing insults around were AWF's comment pages and, we, us at Skaro. I'm a little embarrassed about that, plus, to be fair, I'm getting a bit fed up with being everyone's whipping boy, so, for now, I think it's only right that we all pull in the same direction and just get on with Doctor Who. That's the main thing here, the rest is just t'internet bollocks. So, that's what I'm gonna do.

Now, the "saviour" stuff in my last blog. Guys, come on now, that's a bloody joke! Has everyone lost their sense of humour? I thought irony was our thing! Clearly not, so, like all bad comedians, I've had to explain it... hohum...

Right, onto new stuff.

Has anyone been to the Doctor Who Exhibition in Blackpool recently? Bloody hell! Now, I presume it's been closed during winter. They've had plenty time for maintenance, a lick of paint (2 tins for £20 in B&Q btw) and maybe the odd bit of dusting. I went yesterday and was wholly, wholly disappointed. The older eps are well represented with a few decent props and costumes, but they really need a bit of a clean, and, of course, a lot of it looks very tacky (although, to be fair, this isn't probably its fault, it's more likely what the Beeb gave them. A lot of Doctor Who props and costumes WERE a bit tacky). Things like Sylv's and Peter's hat squashed into an unrecognisable mess, no representation of a "classic" Tom Baker, no, as far as I could see, "original" sonic screwdriver (or new one, for that matter) and some very badly set exhibits of old monsters - a couple of different vervoid displays, oddly.

I mean, of course, there is always a fanboy thrill to see these things close up, but also a huge disappointment when, em, seeing these things close up. But the classic series is one thing, I get why props and models and costumes which are at least twenty years old can look a bit knackered.

What really got to me was the "new" series stuff. What a waste. I know for a fact there is no shortage of new series props and costume. I also know from first hand experience these things are chunkier, slicker and more realistic in real life than ever before, but, em, where are they at Blackpool? A Human Nature scarecrow I think was the newest piece, but sans head, bizarrely. And it seems someone had it away with Jabe's, too. The display is filled with End of the World mannequins, and, as I said, looks not to have been updated, since series 3. There is no representation of new Cybermen with the exception of one helmet and one standee. No new style Daleks either, except a standee, and nothing at all on the Master or Sontarans or Ice Warriors. Not even a Zygon. Oh, but they do have a Navarino! Hmph. A lot of the exhibits are up high, and hard to see, some of the lights don't work in the displays and I noticed a full rail of costumes, up above the display cabinets that were impossible to detail.

Another thing that was disappointing was the condition of the place - there were actually people screwing things in when I got there, and the whole "new" section was grubby and unkempt. There are huge holes in the ceiling, for instance. The mannequins looked like they had been knocked out of natural poses and just left.

Then there's the prices. I'm no mean Scotsman, and I was fully willing to go there and buy the illusive sixth Doctor figure to complete my collection - and Giant Robot - but £20? £7 in Tescos I think! Even Forbidden Planet do it for under £15. They were selling VHS's for a £10! A tenner! For a video! You can by dvds for under a £5 in WH Smiths. And the whole thing cost £20 for a family ticket.

So I was disappointed, I have to say, and since I was hoping to show off a bit to my partner, a little embarrassed by it. I reckon all it would need is someone who gave a monkeys about the programme - rather than just employing "people" - and it could sparkle. I'm sure a request to the BBC would get them new props and costumes.

Anyway, 6/10... must try harder.

Happy Times and Places

Eddie

This Blogger Thing, Fandom and AWF Comments

Hello there, faithful readers.

You know, I've been watching with interest a comment-culture which seems to be developing, almost forum-esque out of AWF blog about yours truly. There seem to be a group of people intent on constantly spilling abuse and venting their own personal demons in my direction, and, to be honest, it's quite scary, strange and more than a little disturbing.

I genuinely don't get it. Even if all the nasty stated about me is true - that I'm a multiple personality fantasist with a penchant for abusing consenting women and a mover and shaker in the BDSM world... so what? Why does that effect anyone? Why is that soooo offensive? Surely just as - or in my opinion more - offensive is to constantly target a couple of individuals (or, by their logic ONE individual) and bombard them daily with vile, slanderous and unwarranted abuse? Isn't that worse than anything I have been accused of (and never proved of) doing? I'd reckon so.

AWF is unfortunately complicit in this, because he/they can easily reject those comments but they publish them, and, of course, that is well within their rights. Have to be careful of the liable laws there, but so far I get why. I know what it's about. And that's fine. To be fair, it's getting a bit boring now.

See, if anything else, it's done me a favour, faithful reader, because my mask is off. The nuclear bomb has been dropped, there's nothing else for anyone to hit me with, and it's a huge relief. The thing with the "masked" me kind of shows the hysteria that was whipped up around me, and, in a way, shines a light right into the faces of the brainless fuckwits leaving comments on AWF's blog. THOSE are the guys with the problem, guys who think the most offensive person in the world is me. Christ, I'm a nothing, I'm genuinely not worth their attention. But still, what is it, all you amateur psychologist who google conditions to give me? Displacement? Transferance? What? Do your wives not understand you? Are you left alone at night whilst she "works" or "visits her sister" and all you can do is think... right, I'm gonna let him have it, that bastard, that guy who, em, said he knew things about Doctor Who I didn't... how dare he... what a bastard, or something? Don't you have, like, lives? Why am I so offensive? Why am I so important to you? Even if I AM a liar, which I'm clearly not, who cares? And if you do, why? What's it hurting? Cos I'll tell you, I'm a self fulfilling prophecy. See, for me to have done something - anything - then it's shut the spoilers - and if I did that, well, then I'm genuine, and not a liar, and, well, em, then... oh, see? Paradox. Bit of a bastard that, eh? Never mind. I'm sure you'll find a dog to kick sometime. Maybe sometimes, when you're feeling particularly naughty, you go and have an extra biscuit, even though mother told you not to... wooo... you're like, soooo bad...

So there's this guy, posts anonomously in AWF's comments and says things like "Marty, m'lad" and "Bladdy yakkity yak" and people think he's Mr Dark. Now, people think I'm Mr Dark too. I'm not, of course, but the hard of thinking chin-dribblers can't tell that Dark and I have completely different writing styles - I mean, completely different, unfakeably different, but, never mind, the "not very brights but can lift heavy things" can't see that, they just go for it. So this guy, whoever he is, is sitting in the house - probably his mum's, to be honest - and decides to write "Darkesque" abuse to people and then watches all the puppets jump through his hoops. He must be giggling his mother fucking arse off at you guys, you are so easy to manipulate! To give credit where it's due, I reckon Martin clocked that, and backed off the conversation pretty swiftly. Good call there, MLock, your instincts serve you well.

Fandom, gawd help us, needs AWF, it needs the bite, and the satire and the cynicism. I contacted the place out of a genuine respect for it. My initial email which was reproduced must have shown that, but it all seems to have been forgotten. What it doesn't need - and neither does AWF's reputation - is the culture of poisonous hangers on who vent an unnatural anger at someone for doing, what? Honestly, what?

If I dish it out, I must be willing to take it back, and, as long as it's an online persona thing, I'm happy to do so. I'm a big boy, and can easy fend off intellectual halfwits with words and wit rather than fists. But see, there's another thing. In the real world, in a pub (and I know most of these guys aren't allowed to go to pubs) if you called someone a "cunt" you'd get punched square on the face. But here, if someone slaughters you and you say "Well, lets meet, and I'll leather you..." the same guy who just called you a cunt goes "Yeah, that's all you can do, violence..." and hides behind a bigger boy. It's the ultimate in cowardice.

And it's all very unnecessary. It's all a bit silly, really. The whole situation has shone a light on the culture at the moment and it doesn't look good. I have come across arrogant and petulant, and perhaps duplicitious, AWF I reckon knows he/they were a little disengenious with what was a geniune hand of friendship, and DWF is trying to remain aloof, and, to be fair, doing a not too bad job. The skittering little comment makers who get sooooo angry at the whole thing come across as anti-social sociopaths with shallow lives and a zero-tolerance for silly things. So we all look like arseholes. And it's all a bit daft.

The worst thing I've done - even if I'm a liar, and a fantasist, even if I've made everything up - is to highlight the spoilers and what they were doing to the programme, to try and protect some of the integrity of the people making the show and give them credit for the damn hard work they do. Spoilers are a very different creature now, and I have to say I'm a bit proud of that, whatever some people say. The anticipation of a new episode with little known about it is a GOOD thing, faithful reader. However it happened. That's all I've done. And before people have a pop about me, and my internet habits - true or not - why not have a look at your own? The pay-to-view porn or the dodgy late-night sites, the drunken google for something you normally wouldn't look at or the email from someone with contents that make you go "whoooahhh!". But no, all these comment-creatures are lilly white, former cherubs who are so outraged that people dare have some kind of life. Where as they, of course, do not.

I'm not going to go bashing AWF, it's important it gets back on track and does what it does best. It IS funny. And I'm not going to bash DWF, or any of its alumni, because it does an important job and it is very, very needed. Christ, lads, hasn't this all gone far enough? Points made, medicine dished out, yadda yadda. Even Steve at the Restoration Team had to close down his forum because of abuse. That's crazy. Those guys do us a favour every single day! It's insane.

I know I've taken a pounding for saying this, but I genuinely mean it. We're all meant to be fans of Doctor Who. The Doctor. Would he be happy with this behaviour? Would he be proud of US... all of us? No, he wouldn't, he'd be ashamed. And so am I.

Skaro won't turn anyone away. It won't censor or edit comments. Despite what the arseholes are saying. People with things to say should come there, and talk... people, talk. Like adults. Like humans. Like men.

Think we can?

Happy times and places

Eddie