I found myself at the mercy of a five year old and a remote control the other day. Kids TV! Eeek. Now, I'm not aversed to kids TV, far from it... I'll watch Art Attack with the best of them, but what the hell has happened to the rest of it? I mean, cartoons have become so edited and quickfire - there's a thing called Planet Sketch - jesus christ! - and the voices are screechy and irritating... how I long for the dulset tones of Mel Blanc! Or the calming narration of Derek Griffiths! Even the playful vocals of Brian Cant! But now its all MTV and ratatattat! It flashes in front of your eyes like a strobe like - thank god I'm not an epileptic! And it's loud! So, so loud... What's happened to the glorious meanderings of Bagpuss, or even the frantic adventures of Dangermouse or, imagine it, Batfink!
And don't get me started on Grange Hill... actually, too late. OK, I'm of the generation that absolutely associated with Tucker Jenkins. I was Tucker! And I'd race home to catch his escapades at that famous school. Mrs McClusky, Mr Bronson, all those guys. I always though Fay was hot, but then when I got older, I knew it was Tricia... and since I was the same age, it isn't being a paedo! The thing about though, is that it was real. It was condensed, of course, but the people were real enough to care about. Firm but fair headmistress, evil Maths teacher, tough PE teacher... we had those guys at school. Everyone knew a Tucker or an Alan or a Benny. Now though? It's like Grange Hill putting on a stage play of Grange Hill. Drama school children shouting their lines and standing like Bonnie Langford. It suffers from - gasp - Time and the Rani Syndrome!
Phil Redmond was known for taking the bizarre and making it normal - Brookside, take a bow - but when the bizarre remains bizarre, children won't watch it, cos they look at the people in it and go "Wanker.". After Tucker came Zammo and Rolaaaaaand and all those guys, and that made sense.. they were "the year below me", but they were still real kids. Now though, it's too shiny, and too staged, and has lost its way. The thing is, with a contemporary of it, The Sarah Jane Adventures, we know what we're getting, we know it's going to be fantastical, so we accept it, with Grange Hill, the kids have just come home from school and they go, "What? Where's that? Where're the single mums and the hoodies and the alcoholic teachers?" and then they go "Wankers." and switch over to Deal or No Deal. Or go online. Or go out and drink cider and a Bacardi Breezer whilst crafting a fly snout.
What Grange Hill needs is a dose of realism, not more fantasy. It needs not to talk down to children, but treat them like adults. But not treat them like adults treating children like adults, cos that comes across as partronising. What they need to do is to make Eastenders, in a school, and call it Grange Hill. Of course you cut back on some of the more unsavoury aspects, but not them all. You go, pardon the phrase, old school. The acting and production may be better, but in real life people don't act, and there's no production, and kids know this. They don't know how they know, but they do.
So goodbye, Grange Hill. I enjoyed my time in your classes better than my own. And my class mates of Tucker, Alan, Benny, Tricia and the gang, great time. Mind old Ronson? What a laugh!
Maybe, in 16 years, RTD could bring it back. You never know.
And don't get me started on Grange Hill... actually, too late. OK, I'm of the generation that absolutely associated with Tucker Jenkins. I was Tucker! And I'd race home to catch his escapades at that famous school. Mrs McClusky, Mr Bronson, all those guys. I always though Fay was hot, but then when I got older, I knew it was Tricia... and since I was the same age, it isn't being a paedo! The thing about though, is that it was real. It was condensed, of course, but the people were real enough to care about. Firm but fair headmistress, evil Maths teacher, tough PE teacher... we had those guys at school. Everyone knew a Tucker or an Alan or a Benny. Now though? It's like Grange Hill putting on a stage play of Grange Hill. Drama school children shouting their lines and standing like Bonnie Langford. It suffers from - gasp - Time and the Rani Syndrome!
Phil Redmond was known for taking the bizarre and making it normal - Brookside, take a bow - but when the bizarre remains bizarre, children won't watch it, cos they look at the people in it and go "Wanker.". After Tucker came Zammo and Rolaaaaaand and all those guys, and that made sense.. they were "the year below me", but they were still real kids. Now though, it's too shiny, and too staged, and has lost its way. The thing is, with a contemporary of it, The Sarah Jane Adventures, we know what we're getting, we know it's going to be fantastical, so we accept it, with Grange Hill, the kids have just come home from school and they go, "What? Where's that? Where're the single mums and the hoodies and the alcoholic teachers?" and then they go "Wankers." and switch over to Deal or No Deal. Or go online. Or go out and drink cider and a Bacardi Breezer whilst crafting a fly snout.
What Grange Hill needs is a dose of realism, not more fantasy. It needs not to talk down to children, but treat them like adults. But not treat them like adults treating children like adults, cos that comes across as partronising. What they need to do is to make Eastenders, in a school, and call it Grange Hill. Of course you cut back on some of the more unsavoury aspects, but not them all. You go, pardon the phrase, old school. The acting and production may be better, but in real life people don't act, and there's no production, and kids know this. They don't know how they know, but they do.
So goodbye, Grange Hill. I enjoyed my time in your classes better than my own. And my class mates of Tucker, Alan, Benny, Tricia and the gang, great time. Mind old Ronson? What a laugh!
Maybe, in 16 years, RTD could bring it back. You never know.
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1 comment:
For Grange Hill to reflect authentic youth culture today it would necesitate a post-watershed schedule.
'Skins' and 'Shameless' are where the Tucker Jenkins of today are to be found...not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing...but I sure as hell feel old!
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