Wednesday 15 October 2008

The Moffman Prophecies: Or How To Catch A Thief

If there is one thing that Steven Moffat - new supremo of Doctor Who - hates, it's spoilers. I mean, it's a bit obvious isn't it? Did we see Silence in the Library? As two regimes battle for supremacy in the Upper Boat castle, two disparate but parallel views have come together - get rid of the spoilers.
The way it's considered there is that spoilerites are as good as thieves - idea thieves, plagiarists, parasites. They gain notoriety from revealing other peoples hard work. They're the guys who walk out of the cinema and say to the next queue waiting to see The Sixth Sense "Willis is a ghost", just cos they can. As a writer I'm in two minds about spoilers. I think TEASERS are a good idea... little titbits that make viewers go "ooooo" or make casual passer by's goe "I'll watch that", but to be given the full plot of things months before broadcast can't be good for people's enjoyment of the thing. As for the guys who give the spoilers out... well, I mean, why? Is it an altruistic, giving ans sharing attitude for the greater good? Or is it a "I know better than you, nya-nya" ego trip? Well, I know spoilerites, and I'm pretty sure that some of them are not on ego trips. In my own foray into the world of Spoilers, I have to say I met four types of people. First, the spoilers, these came in two versions. The guys who were geniune, honest, and went "wow, I didn't know that, do you think...? What about this...? Have you heard...?" and conversations start. Great people. Then there were the other ones. The "he just stepped on our toes" guys. The "if I don't know it he's a plant/liar/fantasist" guys. That's a shame, people who thought like that, because, to be honest, I never wanted to do that.

On leaving Upper Boat I was approached and asked if I wanted to release some "official" spoilers - titbits of info on the workings of the creative process that would give fans a good insight into the working of how an adventure evolves, how guest stars are approached, how themes are developed. I was delighted to do this. The spoilers I was getting would never be got by the regular guys because, frankly, they had no where near the access I had. I mean they could SAY they did, but, on the whole, the didn't. No where near. But that shouldn't have mattered. It was all genuine, interesting, juicey stuff.

Then there are the recipricators, the spoiler readers. These come in two types too. There are the normal, great guys - read my comments! Interested, polite, intelligent guys and gals who say "well, it might or might not be true, but it's definitely interesting, and it's started a conversation and raised my excitement level..." and then got on with it. Then there were the trolls. The cynics. The guys who if they didn't believe it it had to be false. Ergo, I was a liar. But I've said enough about those type of guys, and they did my job for me. Thanks to them.

The thing is, due to the increase in spoilers and the treatment of certain forum members, the spoiler givers, spoilerites, and sanctioners of spoilers are now being targetted. The leaks at Upperboat are being plugged with P45's. The Spoilerites are being discredited with ridiculous "exclusives" that will turn out to be balls - Coughpaulmcganncoughsevendoctorscough - and a few more. There is a wonderful one going around right now that is in itself so distasteful it's not funny. About the next actor to play the Doctor - I'm not getting involved, but let's just say that the Moff and the BBC are not so naive, insensitive, narrowminded or bigotted to stunt cast an actor because of his colour and the actors in question are far too intelligent to be duped. This is not the 80s! The next Doctor might be Jimmy Mistri, Adrian Lester, Sean Pertwee or even Jackie Chan, as I said to a friend today, but he will not be chosen because he is Asian, Black, White or Chinese. He'll be chosen because he is the best man for the job. A moments thought would tell people that.

The McGanngate thing was the first of the stingers to come from Upperboat. There are LOTS coming, big ones, crackers. I emplore any spoilerites, if they have an an ounce of respect for their dawgs, and I know most do, to back off, not ask, stop posting. People will lose their jobs. Careers will be scuppered. We may even need new Cybermen and Daleks! Guys and gals, it's just not worth it. Cos, believe me, although 99% of the guys receiving the spoilers are good and kind and honest people, there are those out there who are not. And it only takes one or two.

The new regime doesn't just want to block spoilers, it wants to stop the ability to post them. It's looking at confidentiality and plagiarism laws, it's looking at disinformation and smokescreens. It's looking at discrediting established posters and sacking moles. The sources will dry up, and if something gets out, then it gets out because it's been allowed to. Either it's been sanctioned like mine - which, although taken in good faith could be as much bollocks as anything else - or it's a stinger, or a spoiler with a tracking device on it! The internet isn't a Romulan Cloaking Device I'm afraid. They will be caught.

The programme works best when no one knows what's happening - the majority of the country didn't know that David's regeneration in Stolen Earth was a false one - and the spoiler wasted it for those online who didn't want to know the outcome. Steven Moffat was very clear in his message to spoilerites in Forest of the Dead (a name with so many analogies! Surely people got that!!?) - desist. Stop. Nothing good can come of it. The chase is better than the finding out.

I agree.

Happy Times and Places

Eddie

5 comments:

stephen p. said...

personally i'm just so excited and obsessed with the show that i can't wait to find out what happens next. you are right spoilers can ruin the viewing. in the case of The Stolen Earth, i wasn't spoiled but i knew david wasn't leaving. of course he wasn't. i was glad though that i didn't know what was going on with donna.

it's a mixed bag, but i just want my doctor fix and the books don't cut it for me.

Peter Pan said...

Hi Eddie ... Im in cardiff too ... fancy a beer sometime? I'll happily have a god rant about teh types of poeple involved in spoilers as I have vert strong view son it too!
take care mate
Paul

Mark said...

Noooo! You bastard! I didn't know Willis was a ghost in Sixth Sense!

=P

Just kidding- great post. I look forward to a spoiler free Series 5. =D

BaaBaaDooFarm said...

Well, I was always worried that you might get in trouble, Eddie, so good knowing you didn't and were just doing a good deed for all involved.

You must be sad to be leaving/have left Upper Boat. Oh well, good luck with school and writing and all.

- Gyrfaucon

Unknown said...

Thank your for a clear and compelling article. Your blog is now a permanent bookmark on my browser! But enough of the sycophancy.

I do agree 100%; spoilers are pernicious things. I should perhaps point out, however, that 99% of the spoilers only appear inside "spoiler" sections of the forums and are usually heavily marked with warnings that that is what they are - avoidable spoilers. To say that someone's enjoyment has been ruined is true, I am certain, but to suggest (if that's what you were doing) that this happens inadvertently is wrong. Personally I make it a rule never to visit the forums near the end of the series for that very reason.

Peace.